General

My husband and I have been having issues with mismatched libidos and so he has been encouraging me to share more of what I'm into. He has a general idea that I like big guys (which he is) and would be into the idea of feeding him sometime, but I keep trying to downplay it and he won't let that fly. I know I should be grateful that I finally have a partner who is interested in understanding what makes me tick, but we're both feeling increasingly frustrated because I'm so scared of being rejected that I have a mental block when it comes to expressing this part of myself candidly and he feels that I am being dishonest with him by not doing so. He suggested sharing porn that I've watched or stories I've read, but I don't see how sharing the full extent of my fat fetish fantasies would come to any good since weight gain is out of the question for him. He wants to lose weight for health reasons, and I want to support him on this.

What to do, short of scheduling couple's therapy?

I say share it all. He wants to know, and otherwise will think you're always hiding and holding back. That's not a great feeling to have, especially approaching bedroom stuff. He's a grown up, and will have to understand that there are ways to indulge fetishes without sacrificing yourself or your health. You can't find a middle ground if he doesn't know where middle ground is.

First of all let him know that you are uncomfortable with expressing it, and very importandly say why.

Then you can proceed on explaining your fetish with all of its dirty details!

Idk, therapy should be on the table. You are having a trauma response, and it's causing you to sabotage your relationship.

You should tell him. You need to tell him.

My partner and I do not share the same kinks. My libido is also significantly higher than his. (His isn't low. I'm just a horn dog.) That said, he never judges me for this. He'll also incorporate elements of things I like in the bedroom within reason.

Feedism doesn't need to get in the way of his weight loss goals. My partner is losing weight for health reasons, but we regularly engage in feedist dirty talk. An occasional stuffing (think one really big meal once every few months in our case) won't compromise his weight loss. Kink negotiations are very good at establishing boundaries in this regard.