General

Partner gaining (on accident?)

RegularGhost15:
So I've been aware I've had this fetish for decades, but I wasn't really in a position mentally or lifestyle-wise to feel comfortable committing to it until about half a year ago. I have a very great relationship where we are very open about our feelings, wants, etc. When I told my partner that I was interested in gaining some weight, he was actually very excited. He said I'd be really hot with some extra weight and he's been sure to remind me of this ever since.

But this topic isn't about my gain, really.

So since I'm trying to gain, I've relaxed my diet a bit. I've made my meals generally larger and I have whatever snacks and drinks I want. Only thing is, so has my partner. If I have a snack, he does too. If I have an extra soda, so does he. Now, he's not wanting to gain weight. He's told me so many times. I've made it clear I want him whatever shape or size he wants to be, and I never want him to feel pressured to gain because of my fetish because he's already hot to me.

Since I know he has a tendency to "eat his feelings," I checked in with him to make sure he was feeling okay. He said he's feeling great. He has noticed his increased snacking too, and he said he's figured out he really follows my lead on how to gauge how much to eat. I laughed and told him, "Well, if you eat like someone who's trying to gain weight (me), you're gonna gain weight." He laughed too and told me he was going to start tracking his intake better.

Well that lasted about...a week. I bought a box of snack cakes from the store and he was sure to grab some snacks for himself. He's also taken to jiggling himself absentmindedly, and last night while we were laying in bed he puffed his stomach out and rubbed it, saying "man, I can get this big, huh." It's clear that although I've maybe gained a little more than a pound for my efforts, he's put on more.

Again, he is well aware of what I like, and I love that he's willing to do stuff I like. I just don't know where it leaves me, you know? He says he doesn't want to gain weight, but he seems to also be happy gaining it. I just want to make sure he's doing this for the right reason, because I really, really just love HIM, and no shape he makes his body will change that. I also want to make sure he doesn't just put on a bunch of weight accidentally and then feel bad about it. So I don't know where it leaves me. I want to help him do what he wants, but it's clear he doesn't know what that is, and I am doing my best to make it clear I have no expectations/desires either way.

I think my only real solution is to just let him gain weight and see how he feels about it, but I don't want him to feel bad or guilty about that either if it were to happen. One of his favorite accomplishments in his life was losing weight and being in shape and I don't want to feel like I'm sabotaging that.


Ngl, I fail to see how anything here is your fault. You have been open about everything with him. You even warned him of the consequences of his actions. At the point, everything is on him.
1 month

Partner gaining (on accident?)

RegularGhost15:
I'm not really interested in blame or anything, though I suppose I do feel a bit guilty and responsible. I really want to help him figure out what he wants to do because I think it could be fun in either direction. He's mentioned him wanting to lose weight might being fun (size difference is something we both enjoy) but if he doesn't mind slipping on some extra pounds mutual gaining could be fun too.

I just don't want his decision to be based on what he thinks I want, because I'm genuinely not interested in telling him what to do with his body.


At this point, I wouldn't worry about it one way or another. Let him figure out what he likes. And when he does, support him with whatever he chooses.
1 month

Partner gaining (on accident?)

From what you've told us, you have been open amd honest about your feelings and preferences. At this point, you will have to let them make their own choices and then be supportive either way.

It sounds like both of you could be having some mutual fun - go with the flow and trust that they are just enjoying the ride with you.
1 month