Safety and pre-payment for meetups

I'm aware in this community payment in straight money (PayPal, Venmo, Cashapp, Bitcoin, etc.) or in kind (Uber Eats, GrubHub, Steam Cards, etc.) seems to be required for a majority of community members to meetup.

As someone with a good income, knowledge of cybersecurity, and a concern for safety but an aversion to scams and instant gratification, I'm going to say right now that this type of behaviour is not going to be indulged by me. I don't send money to strangers. Period.

If you feel unsafe or untrusting of someone, getting money from them isn't a solution. Anyone with money can do that, sorry to say.

A better solution is to get to know someone over messaging, email, or phone/video calls, then meetup in an open or public location. If you're afraid of someone finding your licence plate number or being stuck with someone, take a cab or Uber. If you are untrusting of someone, don't agree to marry them or share pictures, especially nudes, of yourself. And don't pressure anyone else for nudes or personal information, because that's sexual harassment and abuse. Full stop.

At the same point, if someone is done with you, don't keep pestering them or try to find them online. That's harassment too. And it will get you nothing other than ghosting, blocks, bans, restraining orders, or potentially police investigations. Don't do it.

Also, people don't have to tell you the truth. This goes both ways: If someone is obviously evasive or lying, give up. It's a waste of time. If someone is not responding, don't waste your time with them either.

Finally, note, you can't change other people's behaviour. You can't force someone who is frightful, deceptive, treacherous, aggressive, probing, or has very different standards of privacy or honesty from you to comply with your standards.

That's just my two cents.

I agree. I also want to add to this with some things. I know it's basic internet safety, but from some of the conversations I've had here, I wonder about some of y'all.

In no particular order:

- Don't make important decisions horny
- Even if you do trust them, they can still be no good. Make sure someone you trust knows your whereabouts, when you'll be back, and/or have a check-in time.
- Keep your location on and your batter charged
- If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
- If you are a content creator, never put the bag before your safety and well-being.
- Don't expect people to be okay with a transactional relationship, but if the other party is fine with it, hold up your end of the bargain
- Get it in writing. I don't care what it is. Get it in writing or have some recording evidence of the agreement
- If a content creator isn't interested in anything more than a transactional relationship, do not retaliate. I have seen several instances of people (men) subject content creators (usually but not always women) to their unwanted advances and blast them in public as scammers when they decline.

Do not do this. We women have whisper networks. We know who you are. We will work together to protect our own, and your behavior will get back to the site admin with screenshots.

And on the flip side, do not try to scam people. The community knows who you are. Understand that people take screenshots. Your behavior will get back to the site admin.
1 month