Submission and domination

Spiraling

I don't know what to do. I gave in to my kink the past week to have a little fun. I got high and ate as much as I could on my two days off. I put on 10lbs just from the amount of food I consumed. The next day I worked, and normally that would be the end of it. But that night I got high again and kept eating until I was stuffed. I never really eat lunch and if I do, I usually don't have much room for dinner. Yesterday I ate a huge burger from Wendy's for lunch. Then at dinner I went out and ate and an appetizer, wings a side and a beer. Even when I'm hungry I can't normally but away all that. But I did. And it felt so good, the bloated feeling of my stomach. Then on the way home, even though I knew I was more than full, I got a frosty and ate that. I know I need to stop, but it turns me on so much. Even more so seeing the number on the scale go up. The thought of people teasing me and calling me names, makes me want to eat more. The foreign feeling of my stuffed belly pressing tightly on my clothes, make it impossible for me to focus. I just want to eat instead. Am I down the rabbit hole? At this rate how fast am I going to pudge out. How soon will people start teasing me. Part of me wants it to happen already, another part of me doesn't. The part that finds this hot is winning though...now I'm hungry again..what should I have for lunch?
11 months