In my opinion, your indulgence in this kink and ability to stuff yourself shouldn't be dependent on having a partner...
While I undersrand the desire to have someone who understands and supports you in this, if you don't have the confidence in yourself to stuff and gain and be yourself on your own you shouldn't bring that into a relationship.
It's a recipe for codependancy and if things don't go well in the relationship and you do indulge and gain, where does that leave you if it doesn't work out and they break up with you? Probably not in a great place...
Be confident in yourself, in who you are, in your kinks, and you will eventually find a person that sees you for the person you are
5 months
