General

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
Glutton   United Kingdom
Joined 15 years
CuteKandi wrote
Nanabobo wrote Sometimes it feels like all these confident BBWs and girls gaining weight on here are fake.


Well most of the feeders/FA who aren't fake are ashamed so try being confident when someone is ashamed to just be talking to you. I'm sure more women would be more confident if more guys got some balls and would actually say they are HOT to their faces!
Your HOT!smiley
13 years

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
Glutton   United Kingdom
Joined 15 years
Adipose wrote
Y'all should check out this article: www.lardbiscuit.com/lard/truefa.html

Out of all the pro-fat and FA accounts I've read, this one hit me the hardest... I could relate from two angles, the feeder and the feedee; having both a socially deviant preference AND a desire to grow into a shape most people find repugnant in this day and age.

It's a tough road to walk on either count. But when it comes down to it, I am who I am, fighting it would be to fight myself, and I wouldn't want myself any other way. smiley
Same heresmiley
13 years

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
Maximum   Australia
Joined 15 years
shuefly wrote
I don't feel alone! My imaginary internetz friends are all the company I need.

Seriously.

For the most part, y'all are a fine group of people. Intelligent, sexy and whether or not you're all "for real," you've allowed me to get real with myself and my preferences.


I think the biggest difference for you is that you get to live this stuff out in your every day life, for most of us feeling alone, its because it continues to remain a mere fantasy.
13 years

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
OniGumo   United States
Joined 17 years
I can definitely understand what most of these people mean here. I've been utterly alone for a very long time, so long in fact I've almost accepted the idea that I'll never find someone.

The feeling of being alone only got worse in July because I was informed by my Dr. that I would have to go on a diet for medical reasons. Now I feel like all hope is gone, if I'm not a BHM anymore then how can I find an FFA.

I feel like I'm adrift without any way to get back to shore.
13 years

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
Maximum   Australia
Joined 15 years
shuefly wrote
Maximum wrote
shuefly wrote
I don't feel alone! My imaginary internetz friends are all the company I need.

Seriously.

For the most part, y'all are a fine group of people. Intelligent, sexy and whether or not you're all "for real," you've allowed me to get real with myself and my preferences.


I think the biggest difference for you is that you get to live this stuff out in your every day life, for most of us feeling alone, its because it continues to remain a mere fantasy.
I know I'm fortunate to be in a relationship, but I don't believe for one minute that there is something so special and unique about us. I really don't.

I also don't think it's necessary (or even a good idea) to allow this fetish to dictate your coupling, if your looking for a committed, long-term relationship. It's too limiting and a sexual preference can't provide the solid foundation that's got to be there if a relationship is going to last. Life throws too many curve balls and things besides your mate can get pretty heavy.

The point I'm hopelessly trying to make is if my husband and I found each other, you (general) can find your person too. People do it all the time. And when you do, it may take time for your fantasies to be fully realized. It took almost ten years for us to start exploring this fetish. During those ten years we've faced down some serious challenges, many of which are ongoing. We never would have survived intact if our marriage had been built around my attraction to a big belly.

So take a chance! My husband was not my "type." Wiry rock climber/mountain biker? Uh, no thanks. But there was undeniably "something" there between us, so I set aside my physical preferences. I fell in love with him and his body type became less important to me. A non-issue really. And contrary to a lot of comments I read, despite the fact his body was not what I had historically been attracted to, our sex life was not lacking for all those years. That said it has definitely gotten better since we embarked on this adventure so many months ago. So be patient too. After all, good things come to those who wait.

I'm not trying to get all lecture-y (though I guess I did - sorry). My intention is to encourage anyone here who has gotten into the habit of thinking there is no way he/she will ever find someone to shut that tape recorder in his head off! Unless you are actually a jackass and a jerk, hitting replay again and again is what holds you back. Like I said earlier in what has turned into my novella of a reply, I am not so special that it could only happen to me. Or if I am, then you are that special too. Seriously. It just hasn't happened yet.


That was beautiful, thanks. smiley
13 years

Feeling alone in your sexual preference

Avatar
Juicy   United Kingdom
Joined 17 years
I want to make two points about this, and I'll try really hard to be succinct:

1. One sees what one expects to see. If you feel negative, you see the absence of what you want. If you feel positive, you see its presence. Really trying to do a head count of who you come across might help. That doesn't mean there are people in your neighbourhood that are just waiting to be cherry-picked, but there are happy people of the kind you want to see, if you choose to see them.

2. This is very much a matter of the social context, and therefore a political issue in the larger sense of the term. Those of you who are complaining, ask yourselves these questions:
--are you reading fat activist literature? are you participating in size liberation stuff?
--when people say fatphobic things around you, do you counter them?
--are you out to your friends and family as FAs, or as happy fatties?
--are you confident about your preferences, and do you act on them without shame?

This is a fatphobic world, and that makes our lives harder. But if those of us who care about fat people, who enjoy being fat and/or being with fat partners, don't act, the fatphobia will change. It is up to EVERY individual member of this site to, as Gandhi put it, be the change you want to see.

Don't moan unless you're doing everything you can to make the world safe and happy for fat people. [And DO start participating in the Fat Liberation forum!]
13 years