I'm getting really depressed lately.
I've been alone for a really long time now, but that's not the main reason I'm writing. I need some advice about financial issues.
You see, I was going to college a few years ago after having been out of school for 8 years. When I went back, I was really excited to be learning again - I'm a game designer by heart; it's all I've ever wanted to do, and all my creative outlets (music, drawings, programming) lean towards that. I did very well my first semester, getting a straight 4.0. However, in the middle of the next semester, I found out my ex was pregnant. This coupled with other issues in my life really depressed me, and my grades plummeted. I kept trying to continue in college, but the anxiety about the birth and then the birth itself and the months following completely destroyed my college GPA. I went from a 4.0 to a 1.7, and then had to drop out due to depression and because I wanted to spend time with my son.
This past November, I was called by Great Lakes financial (the company behind the education scam in America), who said they would start garnishing my wages if I didn't start paying them. Well, I told them I had been planning to go back in January (because I was) and they told me they'd defer til then.
Then January rolled around, and I went to sign up for classes again. When I did, I found out that my account had a balance on it. Upon calling the school, I found out that they had dropped me from several classes instead of withdrawing me when I left on my last semester, and that I now owed them about $1500 to be able to go back to school. I have no way to earn that kind of money. So, I decided to wait til my tax return came and just catch up in the semester.
Well, my W-2s didn't show up til WELL after the Jan. 31 deadline for employers, so that screwed me. I filed my taxes as soon as I got the last one, and was going to get enough back to pay the school.
But here, fate intervened to *** me once again. The federal government seizes the refund checks of anyone on child support, unbeknownst to me. So while I waited for these checks, the federal government was giving them to the child support agency for my state. I was informed of this in LATE MARCH, after having waited 5 weeks for my taxes. (Btw, I have never missed a child support payment or even been late. This is just how they 'support' children these days, by ***ing the father over as much as possible.)
So now, not only do I not have the money to pay Great Lakes OR the school, but am falling behind on my other bills because I can't earn enough. I may have to file for bankruptcy, although I loathe to do that because it's like I'm a complete loser, when all this stuff was pretty much circumstance that occured to me. Moreover, I need my computer for my profession and they'd certainly take it if I did that.
I don't know what to do anymore. :'(
My life is pretty much over, in my eyes. I'm 28, without a college degree, no hope of financial recovery, and 140 IQ. I'm basically a wasted life; someone who could have been something but was just screwed by circumstance over and over and over. I have nothing except my son to be proud of, and that depresses me even more because I want to give him a good life and I'm simply not going to be able to due to my own failures.
Sooo...I don't know. I'm about ready to just give up and call it quits on existence.
I've been alone for a really long time now, but that's not the main reason I'm writing. I need some advice about financial issues.
You see, I was going to college a few years ago after having been out of school for 8 years. When I went back, I was really excited to be learning again - I'm a game designer by heart; it's all I've ever wanted to do, and all my creative outlets (music, drawings, programming) lean towards that. I did very well my first semester, getting a straight 4.0. However, in the middle of the next semester, I found out my ex was pregnant. This coupled with other issues in my life really depressed me, and my grades plummeted. I kept trying to continue in college, but the anxiety about the birth and then the birth itself and the months following completely destroyed my college GPA. I went from a 4.0 to a 1.7, and then had to drop out due to depression and because I wanted to spend time with my son.
This past November, I was called by Great Lakes financial (the company behind the education scam in America), who said they would start garnishing my wages if I didn't start paying them. Well, I told them I had been planning to go back in January (because I was) and they told me they'd defer til then.
Then January rolled around, and I went to sign up for classes again. When I did, I found out that my account had a balance on it. Upon calling the school, I found out that they had dropped me from several classes instead of withdrawing me when I left on my last semester, and that I now owed them about $1500 to be able to go back to school. I have no way to earn that kind of money. So, I decided to wait til my tax return came and just catch up in the semester.
Well, my W-2s didn't show up til WELL after the Jan. 31 deadline for employers, so that screwed me. I filed my taxes as soon as I got the last one, and was going to get enough back to pay the school.
But here, fate intervened to *** me once again. The federal government seizes the refund checks of anyone on child support, unbeknownst to me. So while I waited for these checks, the federal government was giving them to the child support agency for my state. I was informed of this in LATE MARCH, after having waited 5 weeks for my taxes. (Btw, I have never missed a child support payment or even been late. This is just how they 'support' children these days, by ***ing the father over as much as possible.)
So now, not only do I not have the money to pay Great Lakes OR the school, but am falling behind on my other bills because I can't earn enough. I may have to file for bankruptcy, although I loathe to do that because it's like I'm a complete loser, when all this stuff was pretty much circumstance that occured to me. Moreover, I need my computer for my profession and they'd certainly take it if I did that.
I don't know what to do anymore. :'(
My life is pretty much over, in my eyes. I'm 28, without a college degree, no hope of financial recovery, and 140 IQ. I'm basically a wasted life; someone who could have been something but was just screwed by circumstance over and over and over. I have nothing except my son to be proud of, and that depresses me even more because I want to give him a good life and I'm simply not going to be able to due to my own failures.
Sooo...I don't know. I'm about ready to just give up and call it quits on existence.
14 years