15 years
Confused feelings... again...
arctictiger wrote:
well over the last few months I've gone from 84kgs (184.8lbs) to 88kgs (193.6lbs). There's a part of me that loves it and, to be straight up about it, is 'turning me on' so to speak. But most of me doesn't want it. I want to have a reasonable amount of fitness (and muscle) but definitely keep a bit of chub. But I just need some motivation to get started. But I am planning on getting a home gym, but that's once I finally get some money that I'm effectively inheriting, then move out of home, etc. (note: I want to be 82kg (180lbs), not really about the weight, just want the level of fitness and some muscle eh.)
What's your point of view on this?
well over the last few months I've gone from 84kgs (184.8lbs) to 88kgs (193.6lbs). There's a part of me that loves it and, to be straight up about it, is 'turning me on' so to speak. But most of me doesn't want it. I want to have a reasonable amount of fitness (and muscle) but definitely keep a bit of chub. But I just need some motivation to get started. But I am planning on getting a home gym, but that's once I finally get some money that I'm effectively inheriting, then move out of home, etc. (note: I want to be 82kg (180lbs), not really about the weight, just want the level of fitness and some muscle eh.)
What's your point of view on this?
I'll be honest. I don't like fat on myself, only on my partner. Self fattening is not sexualy stimulating for me. I currently weigh 204pds, and I should sit about 175-180 for my height and build. The extra weight in my belly is making my lower back hurt, plus it makes me feel lethargic. Feeling my own belly just doesn't have the same arousing effect as feeling someone else's, I'm sure most can relate
On the other hand, I seem to have a dual mentallity. I have fantasized about having a ginormous belly that slaps my knees, and I LOVE the feeling of being completely stuffed. I suppose it's a love/hate relationship, but I just don't think fat looks good on my body.
15 years