Hi there i will probably be shot down in flames for what i am going to say. I know a couple who have been in a feeder/feedee relationship for years the lady is now of enormous proportions but it has taken them many years for the trust and love to be where they are today. Personally i have in the past been in a simular situation to yourself when i asked the lady in my life to gain weight [her reaction was are you mad] It caused all sorts of problems unknown to me she was plump as a child and was teased at school. As a adult she was careful what she ate. She was of average size. she also said she did not want to become fat and ugly. What i have learnt is how different womens thoughts are to a man. The woman in question was also worrid about how her apperance would be seen by others and thought that if she did decide to gain weight that if she was not big enough i may leave her for someone larger. Which was not true. Life carried on normally for several years i just ignored the feelings i had to fatten her. It was a taboo subject. Then one day we were driving in the car just chatting and she just suddenly said i am going to eat what i want when i want. i was very surprised and not sure what she meant exactly. I just said ok and decided not to question her about her statement. There was no instant change life just carried on it was only a year or so later i was looking at some photos of the lady in question taken a year or so brfore and realised she looked slimmer in the photos. So i thought i would start buying her treats chocolate ect. Sometimes she would eat it straight away other times she would not. [i did not know if i was doing the right thing or not] her weight slowly increased at this point i started to take random photos of her [she was not always happy about it] I started buying larger quantitys of treats to the point the cupboard was very well stocked with a wide range of her favourite things. On one ocassion i came in with a carrier bag of goodies and she asked what i had bought i told her and she then said i know your a feeder i replied yes. From this point things changed and she would request exactly what she wanted her weight really started to increase. Then she developed a double chin, it turned out she thought it made her look ugly. hence the fat and ugly statement several years before. Reading posts here its not rare for a lady to think like this. I did my best to reasure her in fact i actualy liked it. time went on and her weight increased her double chin became very large and her face filled out with no noticable jaw line and full face. This was the changing point for her she was fat and looked fat. She then really put on weight her whole body changed her legs became very heavy and i realised i now had to walk slowly when with her. She was now a fat lady who was happy content and had accepted herself and her love of food. Sorry for the long post but in my experience a woman who becomes large has to want to do it at her own pace and be in control. Also there are many physical changes she has to deal with also the stigma against fat people and her own apperance in public and becoming a fat woman within family and friends. In my experience men think in a direct way and do not understand women who have a broader view on life and are often far more concerned about there apperance than men. Also once a woman becomes fat its hard to loose the weight and near immposible to go back to having a firm toned body. So now i realise and kind of understand the mixed messages i had from the lady in question. Also i like you, found her belly was a no go zone . This was the case for several years but changed when it become large. So patients support complements understanding trust and love are important. These opinions are not intended to upset or insult anyone and im not prepared to get into a angry debate about something someone has read into what i have said. just tried to be honest hope you find this helpful.
13 years
