General

This is a list of daft things a co-worker of mine has said. Except for the ones listed as (reported), every word is 100% vouched for by me, as I heard them and instantly noted them down.


‘My throat thinks my stomach’s been cut’ – complaining of hunger, 26/10/10

‘What’s this orgasm thing mean?’ – pointing to an orgaNIsm heading, 15/11/10

‘Can I get the 12th off?’; Boss- ‘Yes’; colleague– ‘Can I get the 12th off as well?’ ‘That’s the same day, isn’t it?’ 6/1/11

‘That’s the cat calling the kettle pot’ 7/1/11

‘This is what they call wooden dollies’ (dollars) 13/1/11

‘All of his parents were rich’ 24/1/11

‘If I have to press a button to let people in, how do I get in?’ Question concerning new house with intercom system, 21/3/11

‘Up shit creek without a Swannee’ 29/3/11 (reported)

‘One and two, a baker’s dozen’ 5/4/11

‘It runs out in 2017, so what’s that, 16 years?’ – concerned about driving licence renewal, 27/4/11

‘How did he get in, did he fly in and go through Customs?’ – on being told Bin Laden had been killed in Pakistan, 3/5/11

‘Laneli’ (mispronouncing Llanelli), 18/5/11

‘How do you spell probaly?’ (sic) 25/5/11

‘That looks like something off a Dalmatian’ (meaning Dalek) – referring to colleague's new orthopaedic chair, 10/6/11

‘Where are the Seychelles (pronounced seashells)’? me– ‘On the seashore’ 17/8/11

(Explanation from colleague about how Czech Republic and Slovakia aren’t one country any more) ‘Why don’t they just join together?’ 27/9/11

‘White Chicks Can’t Jump’ – referring to a film quoted by Big Brother housemates, 4/10/11

‘Did you raise a lot of money (in the wheelchair basketball)?;’ senior colleague – ‘£1500, so about half a wheelchair’; ‘How much are wheelchairs, then?’ – 11/10/11

‘What’s your friend’s name?’; Boss – ‘Berger, B-E-R-G-E-R’; ‘Like McDonald’s?’ 12/10/11

‘He’ll be like a bear with a sore arse’ 25/10/11

‘He’s just swimming his own boat’ 8/11/11

‘Equiblium’ 15/11/11

‘Is Denmark in Norway?’ and ‘Is Norway a city?’ 10/1/12

Sounds like you have your work cut out for you....

I have a coworker like that, but I never write things down. In fact, it's two coworkers cause they are twins...This is all I remember:

ME: "You NEVER heard of the Ghostbusters?!"

Twin: "No... is that a store?"

Me: "Yeah, it's a store near center city Philly where the new shop is opening next week"

Twin: "Oh, I'll have to stop there and buy something, what do they sell?!"


At that point, I couldn't keep up this game... I walked away.... damn

Fair point for furriners, but she's British, she should at least know of the existence of weird Welsh letters.
The double-l in Welsh is something not used in English; the nearest I can get is a sort of 'thl' sound.
No spit required!

Update today, 17/1/12 - 'What year is it?'

For the dutch speaking.... The mayor wanted a "be-amer" in his last oficial meeting...

In english it means something like an agree-er.... lol

Update:

(this one's more of a non sequituur)
Co-worker: 'One sugar in your tea?'
Her: 'No, it's cold out, better make it 2'

later -
'It's a little bit too much too late'