General

Your story is far worse than mine, and I really hope that you are able to pull through this.

As for me, my worst (and only) relationship was with a girl who had major family issue to put it politely. We lived about an hour apart, and whenever she came to see me, her mother would call about every five minutes, at which point there would be some kind of a big argument. Her younger sister was no help either; she always wanted to know when her big sis was leaving.

She started pushing these problems on me, to the point where I had a nervous breakdown in front of my roommates. I broke up with her the next day (in person).

After that, my friends rallied around me, and just made me feel like I was worth something again. That helped the most.

I've had one what I'd call a proper relationship and it managed a bad ending, not as bad as OPs but still bad.

I was dating a girl I'd met in school and started dating between going to uni and leaving school.
I'd say at first she was very shy and had quite low self confidence but about 9 months In I got her to be more confident and less shy etc. But after just over 2 years together she sort of changed.

First she went out with one of her male friends again and told me its fine nothing was going on..... I accepted it as I trusted her.

2 months later she has a huge argument about how I don't care about her because I didn't go all jealous and clingy and you know trusted her.

She then kept calling me on the one day a week I couldn't answer her, as part of my course on one day a week I was in all day and in a situation where I couldn't use my phone. I had told her before about this day but she took to phoning and texting me on that day, after a bit she then used this to say I didn't care because I wasn't replying to her.

she only ever came to see me once at uni and that's because her parents were visiting somewhere near by, so I was having to travel back to see her when I could at £40 a time.

She then had a jealous rant accusing me of cheating on her with one of my female flat mates on the ground we were together in a lot of facebook pictures I told her I was just friends with said flatmate and nothing was going on(nothing was going on we we're just friends that's it) saying how she never wanted me to go out with said flatmate again (I went out in a group of course friends or flatmates so that wasn't an option really) I pointed out she had a male friend and I trusted her with him even though they used to date years ago and she said it was ok for me to go out realising or so I thought nothing was going on.

Valentines day was coming up and she laid it on the line saying what she wanted. I spent days organising it and most of the week before getting everything ready. I travelled 3 hours on the train carrying a bunch of roses and other stuff so for her, we then went off the the best hotel around where we got upgraded to a suite, the special romance package I'd ordered was delivered to the room. The whole time and the next day she seemed distracted and not to care I'd bothered with this, we had a candle light dinner in the restaurant (the same place we'd gone on our first date) and she still seemed pre occupied.

I went back to uni having spent most of my terms budget on one weekend where I might as well have been alone for all she seemed to care. I then survived 6 weeks on £120 somehow managing to buy food in so I was living on £20 for all my meals in a week.

she then got a dog (I'm not good with dogs but despite this she insisted I went to crufts dog show with her while I was quite phobic of dogs) due to her new dog she said she couldn't come online to chat and due to being low on money my phone wasn't an option to top up and use like MSN also uni work was heating up so I didn't have a lot of time to go back and see her or funds to do that.

She then again said I didn't care and that we never went out anywhere and I needed to make more effort over the summer. So I tried to and she said we never went out anymore. now I was a student I could maybe afford to go one place and maybe food, but on one day when she decided what we did, we went to the cinema (cost £40) Bowling (Cost £20) for a meal (Cost £50ish with drinks) then she had a go at me because I refused to then go out clubbing with her. At one point she had a go at me because I said I couldn't afford to pay £1,200 for a trip to California with her. And tried to pressure me into dropping out in my final year just so I could pay half the rent on a place she wanted to live.

I decided enough was enough and tried to break up with her, at which point she refused to let me and said we'd work all our issues out, so I agreed and said fine as long as we both tried. I really put in extra effort, spending what little I'd earned from a job the previous summer on going out with her.
At one point she then said I'd better come back and see her more than the past couple of years at least every other week to which I pointed out it was my final year I'd come back when I could but it would most likely be less often than before but it would be fine for her to come and see me as I could probably get the work out the way but not sort out travel and everything else to get back and see her and all the work.

She also revealed she supported a certain political party here in the UK that lets just say they occupy the far far right wing.... which shocked me, she even got mad when I refused to go on a march with her as that certain party I find deplorable but I thought I should accept her as her and not let this come between us etc.

Then 2 weeks before her birthday she was really weird with me and refused to see me the next week claiming she was busy but she'd see me at her birthday party.


Her Birthday party was 2 days before I was meant to be back at uni, so I went to her party but after she wanted to go clubbing and I had to finish packing for uni so as she had a lot of her friends with and it was a club I really disliked I thought she'd be fine and understand as after all on my Birthday I never saw her and ended up going out with course friends.
I then saw her the next day where we went bowling and to the pub with some of her friends (mostly the ones who hadn't gone to the club the night before).
For her Birthday as it was her 21st I really decided to get her everything she wanted and spent way more than I should have done.

One week into being back at uni 2 days before it would have been 3 years together she sends me a simple text, "I don't love you any more what do you want to do ?"
So we broke up with her saying she wanted to still be friends and me in shock agreeing then 2 weeks later saying I didn't want to be friends anymore after her facebook status's were about wanting to feel happy for once and her chatting up a new guy already, she then blamed me for our relationship falling apart saying I didn't care enough and never went to see her enough back home.

Over the 1 year at uni between us being together 2 to 3 years she changed so dramatically, she started going out getting drunk constantly then calling me up at about 4 am giving me concern such as once her yelling "Oh god I need a shag" while drunk outside a club in the town back home, rather than being fun to be with she changed and refused to talk about much and seemed to ignore me almost entirely even when I was trying such as spending a few days one week going round to hers to dog sit while she went to work. Her whole taste changed she went from being the unique rock chick I fell for to a girl who wanted to just go out and get drunk with dyed blonde hair and as much cleavage on show as possible (not that I have a problem with these things just combined they all are sign of a certain social group here in the UK mainly ).


1 year later on the advice of a friend I contacted her again, to have a clear the air talk where I could state my side of things as I refused to accept all the blame for the relationship issues we had.
Shortly in saying my piece after she tried to pin the entire relationship breakdown on me, she wished I was dead said I was no man.
I then got a message from her new boyfriend threatening me, I tried to reason with him while refusing to accept I was the sole reason for the break up and how her trying to force me to change was wrong. She then says I should have fought for her and her breaking up with me was testing me to see if I cared enough and would do whatever it took to make her happy (dropping out of uni to rent a flat and giving up the job I wanted for her)She then blamed me for going to uni for us breaking up .It ended badly with us basically agreeing not to speak anymore and us both blocking one another.

1 week later her boyfriend messages me again saying to stop hassling her, I again try to be reasonable saying I haven't but he refused to accept it calling me out, so I call his bluff and say fine you want to fight I'll be here at this time on this day if you so want to do this.

Nothing comes of it

2 weeks later again I get another message, same thing only this time he's threatening to firebomb my home unless I stop (I had not contacted her at all since the 1 night when I tried to clear the air). He refuses to accept I haven't contacted her and says to watch out as next time I do it he will burn my home down with me in it.

1 week on from this I get another message from him saying that was it he was coming round to burn my home down. By this point I was fed up of this and told him in no uncertain terms if he messed with me I'd make sure he did nothing to me and had a nice hospital stay followed by a trial for everything he'd done including the death threats and whatever he did do. Finally he listened to reason after this and realised I had no way to contact my ex and she refused to show him the messages I'd apparently sent.

A further 1 week on I get an add request on MSN, I accept not knowing who it is, only for it to be my ex ranting on about how if I didn't apologise for saying she was to blame too for us breaking up and accept all responsibility for us breaking up she'd come round and kill me.... I just blocked her without replying

1 further week on I get a random Phone call, thinking it could be important I answer and its her in floods of tears really angry at me saying the same things as before saying I'm an evil horrible person who should kill himself for the good of the world. I put the phone down on her.

I haven't heard anything from her since luckily though from friends who were friends of hers too for a time I've heard that's because her and her new boyfriends have broken up badly.


Oh and to top all this off while I was at uni trying to move on, I expressed feelings for another female friend of mine (not the one I was accused of cheating on my ex with) and got the just friends line, and rather than go back to being friends as we had been (and I'd have been happy being as she was a wonderful person and a wonderful friend) we basically never spoke again.

Sorry this was so long and rant like but its how I'm getting over it to just rant every now and again about how mad the world is some times. I know I'm not fully over it yet and I'm still fairly damaged as I was manipulated and made to feel like nothing and like I was a horrible person, also the fact I was so wrong about her and that my only relationship experience and only time I've let someone in like this they did this to me. I'm getting over it slowly some how.

Well, the only thing that I actually consider a relationship wasn't bad and it didn't end on the worst of terms as I still speak to her these days went like this:

I remember meeting this girl on a bus and she was the driver. We talked a few times and it got to a point where I would even ride on her route because of her. It eventually got to a point where we started dating. We liked each other, but we didn't really see each other much because she had a work schedule that went from mid-afternoon to late night. Also, she has a son, so that was kind of a factor.

She later said that we should just be friends and it only lasted about a month and a half to two months. Also, I think while things weren't working out, she met somebody else and later on married the guy. I was a little broken over the whole thing but I eventually got over it. Like I said, we're still friends these days. We weren't exclusive, so it's not like she cheated.

However, I remember this other before that liked me and a mutual friend tried to get me to ask her out but I wasn't sure about it because I didn't know for sure that the girl liked me and plus, I didn't really look at her that way. The girl asked me out instead, and we hung out one day and we went to her apartment. Nothing really happened, by the way, even though some have told me that I should have made a move on her. It lasted for only two weeks and the girl dumped me because I didn't put the time and effort to go see her, didn't make a move, or even act like she was a girlfriend to me. We still remained friends (For lack of a better word because we didn't really get along at times) until months later when she cut me out of her life.

I sometimes dwell on the fact that I didn't do anything with her but then I also think that we were never a good match to begin with.

By the way, I haven't been with a woman for a long time. It's been almost 3.5 years since the first girl I mentioned.

Google "borderline". This and a lot of the other stuff you have written, reminds me of my borderline ex. I still can't understand how I managed to stay with her for several years...

I Wish someone could deal with my bipolar condition,before my medication made me more stable,I ruined the chance of a life with the most fantastic SSBBW you could ever imagine,both beautiful and caring,
But even I was too much to handle,in many ways,and she finished with me after 2 years,massive credit to her for trying,but I was too clingy,and easily upset ,and the manic part of the bipolar made me behave a bit strangely ,even though I wasn't aware.
Maybe one day there will be a BBW out there for me,but as it is now all hope has evaporated,and I wouldn't want to inflict myself on anybody.