Gaining

I´ve always wanted to be bigger, but I always end up getting second doubts and losing again. A little over 2 years ago I gained a bit of weight sorta accidentally, from 70kg to 75, then stopped for a while. Then gained to 80 on purpose, but got second thoughts and dropped back to about 72. Then gained to about 87/88 on purpose. It felt great, but once again, out of fear of remaining single, dropped to about 75kg.

Now I weigh about 82 kg again ... Anyone else have this? I know I want to be bigger and I enjoy being bigger, but there`s always something nagging me and telling me to lose and I kinda want that to stop. Any advice?

I don't care what others think about my weight...it goes up & down naturally but I'm haapy the bigger I get...only reason I'm not even bigger is I live alone so I have to work...& I DON'T use my weight as an excuse for being alone...I just haven't connected with the right lady yet.If you feel good gaining then gain.You're the 1 who's dealing with it not anyone else.