General

My thoughts on it have always been you don't have to go shouting it to the heavens but if it came up in conversation or if someone asked me about I wouldn't be afraid to say that I am a feeder, or that I like larger women just as much as thin women. Heck, a few of my friends know now, it hasn't changed me into some kind of weirdo in their eyes. Guys (and girls) if you are afraid of someone finding out about your fetish then you really need to grow up, your friends will still be friends with you, your family won't disown you. To be embarrassed about it or hide it is not only rude to your partner, it's a disservice to them.

I completely agree with you, if a person can't be open enough to show others that they are attracted to you then it's never going to work.

It's a personal matter when it comes to what you like in someone and it's a real shame when people feel so pressured to like one thing that anything different needs to be hidden away from the world.

In effect by hiding you away it's a sign of insecurity, just make sure to never confuse this with not being good enough!

The point is most of the gay people are out.
And yes, lots of men are in the closet regarding their desire for fat women. And really, I cannot understand this, what's so odd and shameful being aroused by fat people?
Sometimes I wish our fat community would act more in the public like the gay community.

There is a social stigma attached to liking / being with large women. Men are afraid they will be teased by their peers. To be quite honest, when I told my friends there was some mild berating, but it wasn't anything like I played it up in my mind. People don't care as much as you think they will if they are truely your friends.

hahahahaaa so you date girls that are thinner than the ones youd like to date because it would just be toooooo hard for you to be judged by the people in your house or university ????

hahaha so basically youre a huge douchebag

*sighs* Look, you're not thinking about the other side of the coin. Many fat people here have been the victim of closet FA's telling them how wonderful they are but they won't dare to take them out in public, or take them to meet their families, or sneaking them into the house for an early morning booty call, all out of a sense of shame. Fleeing at the sight of family members or friends that might find out. Being lovely to them and openly blasting fat people elsewhere. Things like that. Just reduced to someone's 'dirty little secret'. It's both demeaning and heartbreaking for them.

So to put it very mildly, it's a bit difficult for people here to be supportive of closet FA's when they've seen the results of what an FA being in the closet can do. They don't want to see any more broken hearts than they already do.

That said, the fetish part is perfectly fine to hide - no-one needs to know about feederism or BDSM or whatever gets someone off in the bedroom. But it's a far different thing to hide an entire person away. No-one's ever been physically attacked or had someone attempt to literally kill them over dating a fat person either, so it really isn't comparable to homosexuality.

As someone once put it:



So just... do it. It's no big deal. Really.

My family and friends know that I like bigger girls (and have never properly dated a skinny girl). My family is a bit judgemental about it, but they can deal with it for all I care. As for friends, I am more comfortable with talking to them about it, and telling them that from my own personal experience, bigger girls have bigger hearts, and that's what's won me over.