Gaining

I completely relate. At times I am so completely sure that I should just stop exercising and become a gluttony king and then the next day I become way more moderate. There's also the sense of envy that you get when seeing other people who can so easily decide how they want to live and look. I half wish I was at 270 so I could stop caring and just go with it :-P

You can try "Deciding to Get Fat" or "The Glutton's Pledge" on my site. Those have been magical at times.

So you're saying once you take that step forward you don't find you regret it that much?

In some cases there does seem to be a "hump" to get over. Once you gain a certain amount you love it so much and find any downsides so minimal that you're not nearly as conflicted.

However, the amount you have to gain varies widely. It's usually at least 20 pounds but can be as much as 60 pounds.

And of course some people never get over the hump, no matter how much they gain.

All I can tell you: it IS possible.