Gaining

So, if you were into the lifestyle before do you think you would like your weight currently if you found someone else who appreciated it on you and you as a whole?

Possibly it is just a frustration now that you have divorced him and it's trigerring negative memories.

What did you like about the lifestyle before? Did it give you sexual satisfaction or were you completely only into for him?

If you really do hate your body then definitely you should try to lose at least some weight. What puzzles me though is that you allowed your husband to get you as fat as you got. You gained an enormous amount from where you started, wasn't there ever a time when you thought this is going too far? Did he psychologically bully you into this?