General

It's pessimistic but I'm sure that it's also something that's tracked through all of our minds at some point or another. I know it's gone through mine.

I've even occasionally taken a short "leave of absence" from FF in the past when the novelty begins to wear off. I don't even generally "miss" the site very much when I'm away. The longest I've gone without checking FF has been a little over a month. But when I come back it feels new and fresh again. So that might be the answer for you, to just take a little time away and let your life fall back into place.

As for trying to make lasting connections with people, the best way to do that is go into the chat and take part in the general discussions, and be genuinely yourself. You won't find yourself gravitating to anyone in a real way by being a lurker. And you won't find anyone gravitating to you. Not to sound harsh, but you get out of a relationship what you put in, no matter what kind of relationship we're talking about.

I've seen a lot of people who were single for years and thought that they never had chance still manage to find someone that was right for them. There are over 7 BILLION people on this world, mathematically speaking, there has got to be several people out there that you can connect with. If things aren't rolling your way maybe it's just time to refocus on your life and your interests, expand your horizons, go out and try new things. You might even find someone while doing these things.

Dude. Seriously? You're 19. Loads of people have never had ANY contact with the opposite sex by that age. You're not even allowed to have a drink yet where you live. And yet you think you've been looking for a suitable (what? partner? or just someone who's interested?) person for so long you want to give up? OMG. Life is gonna disappoint you for sure if you think everything happens as fast as that.

Seriously, looking at your profile (top marks for that by the way, nice pics, details about your interests, witty), there are lots of comments from hot women and several overtures (offers to chat etc). I think you're doing a lot better than most guys on here. Remember the internet (especially sites for sexually-oriented stuff) is not the natural home of women and so the numbers/ratios are skewed against you here.

Also I suspect that a lot of girls take a bit longer to work out what their sexual triggers are than boys (simply because girls spend less time wanking in their bedrooms to various sources of stimuli during their teenage years...). I see you've been a member for 5 years (naughty! ) which just shows you've been aware of your sexual preferences for a long time - most girls at 14 were still thinking about their Barbies or massively into jumping rope or whatever. And they talk to their girlfriends on the phone for hours rather than trawl the internet in search of kicks. So you're ahead of the curve compared to them.

I know saying give it (more) time is really hard to take when you're 19 and HORNY but y'know... I had a boyfriend when I was 18-19 then pretty much no boyfriend (apart from a few randoms and one-night stands) until I was 29. It's not unusual. It was deeply frustrating. Things go in fits and starts.

As to whether you should start ignoring what you really like in order to find a partner... hmm. We all recognise that having a niche interest/preference/fetish does narrow down the pool. I'm sure you've thought about it, but have you tried going to (or organising) an FF meet up near you? We have regular meet ups in London and the people your age are all jumping each other's bones at every meet up (from what I can see anyway haha).

Chill, you're young, you're obviously pretty hot (!) and you have an endearing way of presenting yourself. It will happen, you hold all the cards.

fantasyfeeder.com/cms/infusions/forum/view-thread.php

Your profile says you're NYC so maybe this meet up could be organised by you? There's obviously interest, but no-one's taken the bull by the horns. Quite often the meet ups in London are just informal gatherings in a pub - often organised by one or other of the younger crowd. It doesn't have to be a massive party, just pick a pub/coffee/buffet place, pick a time, publicise it, and see who turns up. Nothing to lose.

I don't think there's anyone who at 1 time or another wanted to say screw it about something.It takes a real love for what you're interested in to say it & come back to it.Even if you take a little time away from it.I used to say I'd never find the woman for me but I keep going & I think now I've found her...

One of the wisest ideas in this thread regarding relationships is "You get what you put."

Otherwise, I think I know how you feel. When I was 19, I felt like something's wrong. I wasn't even aware of my preference that much, mainly due to brainwashing society. Sure, I fantasized about it, but nothing went anywhere. Weird. Anyway, becoming more active in areas of preference is a way to go. The result is individual, though, but it all takes real effort.

I know that from myself. Get an allergy to society, to political correctness and to all this online-hopeless BS. Then get really good at something. Girls love it. TRY to be your-own-way cool.

life can be pretty inevitable when we're confronted with what we would like it to be and what it is.

try to make the most of it while you can, but don't try to change yourself into something you're not.

you know enjoy the ride instead of whining about the lousy scenery.

Studies into gender and sexuality indicate that it is. psycnet.apa.org/journals/bul/114/1/29/ (I just got this from a quick google, though I suspect there are more interesting sources online!)

Women don't grow up in a society that teaches them that they do have, or that it is ok to have, a sexuality. Obviously a lot of what foxglove said is generalised but she's highlighting some good points and genuine issues!



Yes! Meet ups are a great place to make friends and can give you greater confidence/understanding of your fatty interests! We have so much fun in London and it's not hard to arrange at all, go for it!

hahaha this is exactly what I was going to say, you leave so many negative comments on girls photos that im not surprised youre not inundated with requests

maybe try being NICE and THEN complain about not being able to get girls

Haha Softgirl you're only flipping right!

healthland.time.com/2011/08/11/boys-masturbate-more-than-girls-seriously/