General

This is, I suspect, a matter in which I am not alone. On the one hand, I should like to be able to use the dating function of this site; on the other, I work in a profession where it would not be the thing to be seen to have a profile here (not because of the specific content of this site, but because it would not be the thing to be associated with anything that is explicitly sexual in nature as some parts of this site are).

I can, of course, use a pseudonym, but having a dating profile without a photograph (and not of a cake, lovely as cake is) is not exactly a recipe for success.

Is there, a way, I wonder, that anyone else has found that one can reveal a photograph of oneself to specific people, rather than the world or even membership of this site at large, without coming across as weird or fake or otherwise putting people off as much as not having a photograph at all?

Thank you for the replies. I rather suspect that merely stating that a photograph is withheld for professional reasons won't suffice for many people, although it would be interesting to know people's views on how such a thing (which is already in my profile, as it happens) would go down with them.

So, nobody has worked out any more sophisticated way of dealing with this?

I agree with Reaperman that if you're not abusing company resources or time your personal life should be your own, but that's a little too simplistic for some of us.

You have to consider how you are perceived. Nobody may be (legally) able to "fire" you once it's common knowledge (say where you work) that you are active on a site like this, but imagine what that might do to your career prospects. No, they're not going to put on the interview form "I happen to know they're a weirdo so I won't promote them this time" but they WILL form their own personal (possibly misinformed, prejudiced) views which will cloud their objectivity.

They don't even have to be poking around on sites like this to find out what you're into. It only takes one mischievous other person (who might legitimately be an FA/feeder/other but who is less careful about others' privacy) to send an email to another with a link to your photo, or re-post your photo on another website, probably not even maliciously, and *bang* your private life is public.

As a self-employed person my reputation is everything and I am aware that although I'm not doing anything "wrong" by being on here, there are people upon whom my livelihood depends whose outlooks maybe more blinkered than mine and whose opinions could affect my career.

Again it also depends on whether you are talking about merely being proud of your own size/shape or your preference for others of a certain size/shape, or whether you are talking about your sexual preference/fetish/sexual activities. This site encompasses the latter. I would certainly not want my family, "vanilla" friends, co-workers or potential employers knowing the content of some of my forum posts on here. It's the same as someone who's into BDSM probably preferring to keep it private. You only need someone to link your face photo on here to your user name and then to your forum posts for them to have some potentially very embarrassing information about you.

Of course I could choose not to post such comments but I prefer to have some outlet for discussion, whilst keeping my face and real-life identity minimally discoverable.

MrMan the only way I've managed to deal with this is to send photos by email to those I have established I can trust. There are also photos on the events forum so people can see I really exist, if they can be bothered to trawl through and find them.

You could try coming along to events and meeting people in real life?

Thank you all for your kind replies - it is much appreciated. My position is very similar to Foxglove's, so I really can't post anything identifying.

Heather's suggestion is an interesting one (and Heather's own thumbnail picture is very elegantly done) - but I like to dress smartly, so I suspect that what for some would be a "body" shot would for me be more of a clothes shot. Perhaps photograph with part of the face removed or blanked out? Hmm.