Gaining

Wow, quite a post.
I am in a somewhat similar situation. I have been in the military reserves for many, years, now finally retired and therefore no restrictions on my weight/appearance etc. My wife, who has been overweight for most of our marriage is now embarking on a diet/fitness reigme. I have been subtling gaining weight. Not a huge amount but enough to give me a bigger belly to stick out, but not so much as to not fit in clothes. My wife knows I like heavier women/pregnant bodies etc. She knows I love her figure, but she still wants to get in better shape and lose weight, which she has done. It does pain me that she is losing, but she still has a very promenant belly, thought smaller. She must noticed that I have gained weight, but has not mentioned it to me. It has been easier for me to gain, she is eating mostly vegatables, salads etc. I get to eat burgers, pasta etc. I am becoming resigned to me gaining some weight for my own pleasure, while still being encouraging to my wife's efforts to improve her health. My wife's Mom currently in a nursing facility is obese and not mobile at all partially do to age, but her weight is a major factor.

Ned Fox

I understand cmiller I always was the enabler with the guys I dated and caused them to put on weight.
My second ex husband let me put about 20 pounds on him but he didn't like it all that much so he lost it.
He looked so cute with a pudge and I was sad when he decided to lose it.
But being ex military he always tended to be really fit.
I always preferred to date big men and still have a thing for them.
I wish you all the best and maybe he will eventually gain for you.

For what it is worth, what your husband is saying is pretty much what I, as an FA say to my wife to let her know that her size is all good to me, without pressuring her to gain.

I'm not saying that is the only explanation, but I guess that your instinct that it could be a valid one seems spot on to me.

And nothing wrong with posting something to help yourself work through your thoughts.

Good luck sorting through things!