In general I would say that actions speak louder than words, but the fact that he likes you paying attention to his belly just means he’s turned on by it…as you can see from reading here, people can turned on by fat in all sorts of different ways. If, for example, his feeling is that it is a disgusting sign of weakness, but having it acknowledged is a turn on, then he’s going to be pretty split on how he feels about the subject. More broadly, two people can like food, feeding, or fat, but differ vastly in the how and why of liking it. So even if he does like it, he may not like all the same things you do (like feeding each other).
My suggestion would be to do more experiments by actions before you try many more words. It is the season for feasting, after all! Then you can say “You seem to like it when I grab your belly, and when X and also Y. I love doing all of that too—it’s been really turning me on! I’m kind of greedy, so I’d love to do more of that sort of thing, but I don’t really know where your head is about it.” That makes it clear that you have a favorable view of it all, but that wanting it is an indulgence (by implication, with some self-discipline you could live without it), and you aren’t putting him on the spot with a ‘do you like it don’t you like’ question, rather you are asking him to air whatever thoughts he has on it. Basically it is grounds to start a discussion on the topic, which I suspect is what the two of you need.
In the discussion you can keep offering bits of encouragement and what you like about the fat stuff, but also your thoughts about health and stuff. Really key is to hear what he says without judging or analyzing it right away—you want to keep asking further questions that get him to explain his thoughts, not just get cut and dry answers. So if he were to say “Well, yah, I like women to have some meat on their bones.” Ask “by meat, do you mean muscle? Or fat? Or is either one good?” Or if he says “I like curvy, but not too big” you don’t ask “what is too big” but rather something like “Are those upper and lower limits from the same place, like it is the limits of what you find sexy? Or are they different, like she needs to be at least curvy to be sexy, but you worry about healthiness as she gets bigger?”
Keep in mind too that he could be trying to suppress his own fantasies for your sake!
My suggestion would be to do more experiments by actions before you try many more words. It is the season for feasting, after all! Then you can say “You seem to like it when I grab your belly, and when X and also Y. I love doing all of that too—it’s been really turning me on! I’m kind of greedy, so I’d love to do more of that sort of thing, but I don’t really know where your head is about it.” That makes it clear that you have a favorable view of it all, but that wanting it is an indulgence (by implication, with some self-discipline you could live without it), and you aren’t putting him on the spot with a ‘do you like it don’t you like’ question, rather you are asking him to air whatever thoughts he has on it. Basically it is grounds to start a discussion on the topic, which I suspect is what the two of you need.
In the discussion you can keep offering bits of encouragement and what you like about the fat stuff, but also your thoughts about health and stuff. Really key is to hear what he says without judging or analyzing it right away—you want to keep asking further questions that get him to explain his thoughts, not just get cut and dry answers. So if he were to say “Well, yah, I like women to have some meat on their bones.” Ask “by meat, do you mean muscle? Or fat? Or is either one good?” Or if he says “I like curvy, but not too big” you don’t ask “what is too big” but rather something like “Are those upper and lower limits from the same place, like it is the limits of what you find sexy? Or are they different, like she needs to be at least curvy to be sexy, but you worry about healthiness as she gets bigger?”
Keep in mind too that he could be trying to suppress his own fantasies for your sake!
11 years
