General

It sounds like more than a passing fancy, a LOT more than that. My guess is that you are not going to be happy until you live your fantasy and gain a lot of weight. Feedees usually have to give up a lot to live their fantasies, and in this case, it may be your boyfriend you have to give up. You can just keep gaining, and if he doesn't accept it, let him break it off. Then you'll know to look for someone who either does not mind, or is into your fantasy.

As an encourager, this is something I really struggle with too, so I don't think I can give you good personal advice!

But, you mention that you're a little bit above average and your boyfriend likes that. He also sometimes touches your belly when things are intimate - These two things are quite encouraging, he could well be interested in a feedee relationship, you just need to let him know.

It's amazing how many posts are on these forums that could be written from your boyfriend's persepctive "I'd love to see my girlfriend gain, but she's really into healthy eating...hates it when I touch her belly...thinks fat is ugly..." Maybe you're in this situation!

1. Ask your boyfriend what his sexual fantasies are.

2. If possible, help him play out these fantasies.

3. Continue talking about them and asking him about them until he asks YOU what YOUR fantasies are.

4. Tell him.

Your friends may not embrace the real you and if fitness is the entire basis of your friendship you may have to move on.

You don't need to tell them about the fetish. Just say you've found you're happier if you eat what you want. (See askdrfeeder.dyndns.org/letters.html#Amanda)

From my own life experience I've found the best way to feel happy and fulfilled is to be true to yourself, and I wish I'd followed this more when I was younger.

Don't try to suppress your feelings because of what others around you may think. It just won't work in any case, and as you get older and more confident these feelings won't go away and will come to the surface eventually. Or else you'll go your whole life feeling unfulfilled or ashamed.

Many people here have struggled with the same issues, and have eventually realized that there's actually nothing wrong with wanting to be fat, whether in fantasy or reality, any more than it's wrong to want to be thin, or rich or famous or just a beach bum. They're all just different feelings and desires and no-one is more entitled to their feelings and desires than anyone else.

If people around you don't accept you for what you are then that's their issue and their loss, however you will find people that love and accept you if you look in the right places