Gaining

Ask her about her sexual fantasies. You may have to prod her a little to get her to tell you.

After she tells you, do your utmost to help her realize or at least act out those fantasies.

Eventually the conversation will come around to a discussion of YOUR fantasies.

Tell her.

This is coercive, though, and will make her feel guilty if you indulge her fantasies for the sole purpose of putting her in a position where she'd be uncomfortable saying no to indulging your fantasies.

Especially when your fantasies involve what seems to be one of her biggest self-image issues.

I agree it could be coercive. Thanks for pointing that out.

However I don't think it's necessarily coercive. She can still say "no". If the guy lays guilt trips on her for not reciprocating then he's a jerk. But if he's that big a jerk it will come out sooner or later regardless of what advice I give.

I was mainly trying to figure out how to create an atmosphere where he'd feel comfortable talking about it.

Incidentally, I have given this advice before and in one case it worked out fine.

How does someone whith feeding urges end up with a 130 pound girlfriend? You can't change a non-feedee into a feedee. You have to decide if you want a feedee or you want a 130 pound girlfriend.

Some people want a project?

Not always true. Some people don't realize they're feedees until 1) they have an accidental gain and realized they like it; 2) they gain a little for a lover and realize they like it.

One example is Cherries on Big Cuties. She was quite slim until she gained a few pounds for her boyfriend and realized she liked it as much as he did.

More thoughts...

When you bring this up you should frame it as a fantasy that's part of sex play. DON'T ask her to gain. DO ask her to work the fantasy into sex play. She can stuff occasionally without gaining. Or she could even pretend she's gained without actually gaining...wear too-tight clothes and complain about how fat she's getting (when actually she hasn't gained an ounce).

Of course if she accidentally gains a pound or two you should make a big fuss over it and praise her to the skies.

Eventually she'll fill in the blanks and figure out you'd like it if she gained, but the next step will be up to her. She should feel less pressured than if you asked her to gain up front.

It is also possible you'll like the "play" feeding so much that actual feeding won't be so important.