Fat experiences

Just curious. You have been a feedee for 10 years, and you are probably only 80 pounds over what is considered "normal?" Are you still waiting to find someone? Don't gain weight easily? Doing it more as a fantasy? Something else?

Yes, I was asking you. I really admire you for being able to come to terms with it, and act on it. I really hope you find someone who can make you happy, and totally understand your desires.

My experience was similar to d1rtylittlesecret's. At some point I thought the desire to gain weight was something I would never tell anyone in person. Eventually I told a best friend, and then my first girlfriend, but I wasn't very good at explaining it and neither of them really understood why it was a big deal for me to tell them, and I never spoke of it again with either of them. I had trouble expressing that it was a sexual thing. In high school, I almost always thought of it as something wrong with me that I had to fight against.

I never wanted to gain weight intentionally in high school but the desire for a fat boyfriend was already well established by then. I had to learn to hide my desires back then, teens simply don't have the maturity to understand that liking fat and/or wanting to be fat is a real thing that many people hide. It's all about fitting in, being part of the cool crowds, not being considered weird, freakish or just abnormal in any way.

You get so overwhelmed with peer pressures and that desperate need to "fit in" that nothing else seems to get through to you. Having friends is the be all and end all for a teenager, we've all been one, and some of us still are so we can all relate on one level or another to each other.