General

Shame about the bf lol, although maybe he is to thank for her new figure?

I think we're being too general here. For instance, there are lots of people who live in social groups where they're well aware of FAs--Goths, BDSM folk, comic and sf convention goers, for a few examples. There are people who aren't into gaining, who might not even like their own fat, who would know what they were hearing if they were complimented.

I also think people give you a bit of a hint as to how they feel about their size by the way they carry themselves. I bet 9 times out of 10 most of us would be able to tell the difference between someone who's wearing a tight shirt in denial vs someone who's strutting.

I don't think you can tell someone their gain looks great unless you know they are into it or they know you are. But I certainly do think you can tell someone they look great and let them take it how they take it. Someone who's so insecure that they assume you're taking the piss needs the compliments even more, and if you're genuine, some part of them will know it.

A take-off on Vinylrider's idea.

In the scenario where someone has gained weight since you saw her last, you say: "You look great! Have you changed your hair or something?"

Obviously if this line of questioning makes her uncomfortable, drop it. Otherwise, continue, pretending you don't know what has changed: "No...that's not it. Hmm...you definitely look different though." And she may eventually admit to having gained some weight. Then of course you say: "Oh, that must be it! Looks good on you!"

<quote>I agree with ChubbyHoney, why make it directed at their weight at all?</quote>

Two reasons that occur to me:

1. We imagine that if the woman knew we prefer her size she would like that about us;

2. There are some women who think they have to lose weight before even getting into a relationship and we would like to disabuse them of this notion. There are probably fewer of those than there used to be.

But you're right...it would probably backfire at least as often as it worked!

I don't think at any time can you walk to a strange woman and say 'I love how fat your belly is.' I can hear my face being smacked already. Truth is when people don't know each other, people get measured by the social standard, and the line above would be considered an insult. And another thing, you don't go up to women and compliment them on their rack. It's just tacky, so why compliment the belly or other body parts the same way? It's objectifying them.

Well said/written.

Very true.

@canadian and joswitch: if you would take a deep breath and read each other's posts, you are not disagreeing.

As for how many women are sensitive about our size? I think that's up for grabs. I don't think it's as widespread as chubbyhoney thinks, nor do I think it's as widespread as it once was. I still think it's a majority, and I think--as someone, maybe joswitch?, pointed out--it can be a surface self-acceptance with sensitivity underneath.

But if you put everything that's been said together:

1. you don't compliment anyone, woman or man, on her/his size without knowing them well and knowing in advance how they'll take it.

2. it is perfectly reasonable, if a natural opportunity arises, for an FA to say that s/he likes a partner with a bit of meat to him/her. And there are ways to say that that don't include words someone might find insulting. 'I don't find sticks attractive,' or 'I think too many people are too thin'. It doesn't have to be creepy to express a preference, if you're careful.

true - even at the ff meet ups I don't recall it happening that much lol

Tis a perceived social taboo to compliment a growing belly. Its why I take great pleasure in giving encouragement to the soft, rounding bellies I see on this site each day