Fat experiences

First of all, no matter what, he should not be cheating. Secondly, if you purposely decided to diet and change your personality he may need to break it off. But since your personality did not change, and you could not help losing weight, he should have accepted it.

Thats not a very good situation. Don't be offended, but I'll try to express my "male-ish" opinion on this

Lets face the fact that for all who gathered here - feedism is an important part of their personality. And its a subconcious thing that may replace tradition sexual desire (at least for me thats true).

I believe that best relationships are those where there is a main important ingredient - affection to personalities of each other. And feedism thing is that exotic spice that makes that plain generic relationship dish delicious and desired. But as long its a sexual subconciousness drive - its blind for dignity and morality - its all wild.

You said that your former BBF had a lot in common with you, which might be an excuse for mixing things up in his head. I think in that case cheating with fatter (in that case just plain sexier in FA's mind) woman could be a hard-to-resist temptation to fulfull sexual desire for much fatter you, which can be done right now and just by going across the street.

I think you did good - not overreacted and asked for explanation. Because that might be just a failure to resist that temptation, a weakness, a mistake... But what he told you - that made it more clear, that he has a top priority on fatness of a woman he is with, than anything else. Its a relationship without a main ingredient, just water and spice - that relationship is unlikely to hold for long (I experienced something similar). I think that he becoming your fiancee - is a result of not thinking carefully enough of things and was driven by that feedist(sex) desire. Good that you haven't married - things could've been dirtier than that.

That's why I'm not rushing with getting married. I could just live with someone, but will consider marriage only if both of us will get along well with each other and truly understand and wish to be together "until death will separate them" (or something like this).

From what you describe, it is clear that your fiancé was only interested in one thing: not you as a person, but fulfilling his sexual desires. If he was interested in you as a person, he would have supported you. Even if the feederism aspect is so important for him, it is not an excuse to cheat on you. I'm sure there are ways to incorporate feedism elements in your relationship, even when you are losing weight, especially since you still have the desire to gain weight. (It's your desire, right? Not his that you are giving into to please him?) He could have supported you in this instead of moving on to his next prey.

It is really his loss. I hope that you find a trustworthy man soon who really deserves you!

There is never an excuse to do that to a partner or a friend. I'm pissed with the both of them, without knowing them!

Also so that you were treated so shabbily. This really isn't a fat thing, this is people (them) being selfish and hurtful, and sadly it does happen way too much :-( (a thin friend of my wife went through close to exactly the same experience).

Sorry to say this but if the guy is only interested in bmi then your better off out the way! I am a FA and a feeder and would encourage any lady to gain weight. But not against her will or if health issues dictated weight loss was required. There is so much more to a relationship than the size of a person. I am sure you will find someone genuine to help you to your goal of 400 at 40.....