Fat experiences

SLT, I think what you're feeling is very normal under the circumstances. They've obviously changed in a certain respect and I think most anyone in your spot would wonder the same things.

Based on your description of your relationship with them, I would guess, with a high degree of confidence, that their perception of you has not changed. If it had, you'd probably be able to tell. If it does in the future, you'll see signs. You have not changed. You are the same friend they know and love and are used to. They are used to what and how much you eat. They may see you and wistfully long for the "good old days" when they could eat like that too.

The one who didn't get WLS, may gain some back down the road, when the novelty wears off and her attention shifts to other things.

If you really want to do a little fact finding with them, you could ask them, now that they eat soooo much less than before, if it's hard or frustrating to be around someone that doesn't have those limitations. The conversation will probably go from there. If you do, I'd make sure you phrase it along the lines of "you eat less now" rather than "I eat more than you" - you haven't changed. They have.

If they start encouraging you to join them, lose weight, "get healthy" etc, or start commenting or teasing you about your weight or eating, in ways they did not before, then that could be a sigh their of you of is changing.

If you're not seeing any signs, I wouldn't worry but no harm in playing the role of conscientious friend and seeing what they say.

I'm curious how it works out. Feel free to drop me a note if you don't mind :-)

~CH~

I think ChubbyHubby said it best.

I do see how your mind can wander with these thoughts. The slightest physical change mainly because of weight does change a person's outlook and or direction at times. My wife with even the mildest gaining and or loss definitely changes her attitude and well a lot of things during her fluctuations. When she gains even 15 Lbs. and maintains that weight for a while she is more care free, relaxed and less concerned with over indulging with food and everything in life. Transversely when she loses weight she becomes more fidgety and less relaxed harder for me to get along with and she never wants to go out for nice dinners and food takes a big "back seat" in her life and she becomes more distant toward me, a lot more on edge and I even catch her raising her eyebrows at heavier women and acting like they are unhealthy compared to her now......not to mention she will comment on something I fattening I may eat like a huge pasta... where as before she would join in with me eating the same thing and follow it with some fattening desert and snacks afterwards. So her whole attitude and way she lives really changes with a weight fluctuation of only 20 Lbs sometimes. I think it has to do with when she was younger in her teens she was very pretty but overweight and during High School she lost weight and became Cheer leader. So she always associates the positive attention she received when she slimmed down as so good. In college she started gaining again but got a lot of attention because she was now the pretty Curvy/Voluptuous coed....who eventually kept gaining until she dieted down.

So perceptions in your head are hard to change....even though in my eyes the heavier she is the more Beautiful she is.

Weight loss surgery is very risky. And those who survive, regain the weight, just like dieters. Any weight loss for either one will just be temporary, and they will probably regain more than they lost.