Fat experiences

Welcome. and I believe you will find the support here that you need!

As a male growing up fat, I also had very low self esteem - I was painfully shy (still am to some degree) and I always just assumed no woman would ever find me attractive.

I came to the online dating world later in life (late 30's) and to feederism even after that. But my first taste of not just acceptance, but actually being perceived as sexy / attractive for my size came from this site! For several years I actively gained and it was awesome!

Although the girlfriend I met on FF (we were together for over 5 years) and I have decided to call it quits, I would never have found her without this site and community. The confidence I have gained as a consequence through acceptance of my body has benefited me greatly!

Now, just like with everything else, there are limits. I am currently losing weight due to health reasons. My feet and legs were in constant pain and my doctor was getting really concerned about my diabetes and blood pressure. I will never be skinny, but because it is my choice (and I discovered Soylent as a food replacement), I am having a much easier time of it than the multitude of other times I tried to lose weight.

I never fully came out to my family either. They weren't critical, but they were (justifiably in my case) concerned about my health. It's something every feedee / gainer has to come to terms with at some point. It might have been easier in the long run, just to tell them, but I never could bring myself to do it.

Your partner needs to understand your limits, so make sure you aren't doing this only for him. If you can handle it, excessive weight gain is fun and sexy, but not at the expense of killing yourself!
He may want to take you further than you want to go, and if all of your self esteem is tied up in making him want you, it could be very hard to stop. People get caught in that trap in many types of relationships and it can become very abusive if your partner is not sensitive to your needs.

Hope that helps and best of luck!

Psyman

I'm re-reading your post after some time, and I have two pieces of unsolicited advice that I'd like to offer:

1) I've seen people come into this fetish the 'au naturale' way (as I did), and the 'acquired taste' way. I have no meaningful insight on which group has a better grasp on dealing with the complexities of this fetish. One thing I do know is that it's easy to get swept up in relationships and the prospect of being loved FOR your size, instead of in spite of it like you've been taught people do. That kind of love has merit, but /b/when it comes to gaining please do one thing, if nothing else: constantly ask yourself, if he were gone, would you love your body? /b/

2) What's the rush about? If I hand't had such an overwhelming urge to get fat when I did, (which was single/sans feeder), I think it would have been amazingly fun to do a 'wait until marriage' while sharing fantasies and playing in between (maybe with a bit of weight as a consequence ). I'm not old fashioned, but feederism is outside the norm, so the rules aren't intuitive. So...

For most people, they only get to gain weight once. There's something to be said for exploring thoughts, desires, boundaires, fantasties, whateverthe***, before making that kind of committment. And you should treat is as a committment if you plan to gain more than a handful; it will help keep you mindful about where you want to set your boundaries if you go ahead and gain.

All the best of luck, and whatever you do, have fun with your man!

We really don't know how large you are now. You can try it for a little while and see if you are OK with it. But just remember that most relationships are not forever, but the weight you gain, you will probably have forever.