Brimstone:
Guilt is such a funny thing- I have been on several sides of this metaphorical fence, and it's really neat to see a variety of answers from many users here as far as things that we all seem to feel concern over ( a partner's wellbeing, what our partners want, etc.); I find when I have an actual romantic attachment to someone, I have a hard time sitting by as they discuss how they might want to lose weight, or how they dislike their body, etc. - I am incredibly supportive, very caring as an individual outside of any relationship setting, and for me the dilemma becomes what I want to say, which is "No"/"You're not doing that", and what I need to say as a supportive friend who wants her partner to be happy. It's caused me a fair amount of distress in the past, but for me the gratification comes out of a sadistic paraphilia - so in essence, the exertion, physical pain, and negative consequences & daily struggling are the main components to sexual gratification for myself personally LOL.
And the nature obviously of a paraphilia is that there is either distress caused by the atypical sexual ideation due to social stigma, personal conflict, or the distress of others - to which I definitely fall into the diagnostic criteria lol. When I don't have the friendship association or, "relationship" quotient with someone I am taken with, or if they are genuinely masochistic and love all of the exact same aspects of their weight gain and subsequent suffering or difficulty as I do, I don't care at all LOL. It's a bit of a slippery slope, however - and I'm a psychosexual weirdo/total predator for the willingly defenceless lmao. But I guess I can turn it off, can't turn it off, live with it, and also do all of the above at once?
I'm rambling lol ! I'll shut up now.
aho:
THIS. I care about my partner's health because I romantically love him and want to spend my life with him (I don't want him to die an early death). He also cares about his heath and I respect that.
I feel though, if I began a relationship hypothetically with a feedee that truly wanted to gain to a much higher weight with higher health consequences and they didn't care, or if I had a sexual and non romantic relationship with a feedee, I would definitely enjoy the sadistic aspects of them struggling to catch their breath, workout, fit in clothes, etc.
I'll fantasize about my partner being 600 pounds but because I respect his boundaries and love him by my side, I'll settle for slightly chubby and use my imagination for the rest haha.
The struggle of being a ffa.
I love Dan Savage's take on this:
thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLoveAlso, inspired by that woman, I wrote a story about the consequences of this thinking (not something everyone here will agree with):
"Natalie and Her Dilemma"
fantasyfeeder.com/stories/viewThese kind of moral/ethical issues keep life interesting.
