General

There is also another view that says that a Feeder is one who actually feeds. In other words, that being a Feeder is a RL thing.

In this view anything online is encouraging. Some online encouragers are prepared to give gifts of money that they hope will be used by the "Feedee" to buy food.

I believe that most of the Feeders here, are looking for the RL feeding experience with a Feedee. What some of the feedees that ask for money are looking for is an Online (only) Encourager who is prepared to gift them money.

Nothing wrong with that if all parties are happy with it, but it seems to be generating hard feelings. The Feeders are dissatisfied because they want to actually FEED not just talk. And the Feedees saying they want a "Real Feeder" don't want a RL experience. (understandable because of past bad experiences some have had)

In any case, folks are talking past one another.

Perhaps there are fewer Online Encouragers willing to gift money than some of the Feedees who desire to be paid think there are.

I appreciate your positions.

That said, this idea that online is RL represents a significant problem. Real life is your job, the significant other you touch and talk to, the checkout at the grocery store, your friend who holds you when a loved one passes away. It involves all of your senses and should provide the opportunity for deep full relationships.

Online is like virtual reality. Some of the people you meet are not real, or are not what they say they are. Often, because they are good at playing the role in a diminished sensual environment, it is difficult to tell they are not real. We all call out "catfish" when we find them, and it gets harder to detect them all the time.

Technology is leading us to the point that even fake video (completely synthesized) is going to be difficult to catch.

It is important, and healthy, to keep the distinction between online and real life.

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I certainly support that. I appreciate you both discussing it.

This is the slimiest post on the forum I've ever read.

Feedees can buy their own food, too. This isn't a job. None of this should ever be considered "Work"

If a feeder is generous enough to give money to pay for food and its all online, fine. That's their choice. No one should be expected to pay for anything, especially if there is no commitment or relationship.

If anyone is a freeloader, its the feedee. If a Feedee can't afford their own food with out the help of a feeder, maybe they should reconsider doing this at all.

No feeder is obligated to pay for food unless they are in a real relationship.

This fetish has never been about the money, anyone who thinks it is, is greedy and pathetic.

if the first thing that comes to your mind is "Who's going to pay for this?" Delete your account. Never come back. Please.

If you're too broke to afford a trip to Mcdonalds once and a while, or the store with out my help. I want nothing to do with you.

You're not a prostitute. You can eat what you want, and you're good enough to pay for the things you like, too.

Feeder doesn't equal walking ATM. That's not what all of this is about.

Anyone who thinks that it is and WE should be responsible...well, think of it this way.

Why is the feeder never paid to do this "job"

Encouraging, getting food, setting up time and days, making meal plans, cooking meals sometimes, delivering food and taking care of the feedee. It's not always fun all the time. No fetish or relationship always is.

That's a lot of "Work" too. But never once do I see a single feedee looking to pay a feeder to do all of this stuff for them. But that'd just be crazy, right? Feeders deserve nothing because this is all a one way street.

Feeders are a dime a dozen and feedees are what, super rare?

Somehow, somewhere when it came to being special, they decided that they were the only ones worthy of "Getting paid" to eat and get special treatment.

You don't deserve it just because you're a feedee. Sorry. I'm not going to pay for anyones food if they live 4,000 miles away and the chances of meeting in real life are zero and the commitment level between us is nothing more than a cold business session and you've got seven other people lined up after me.

So, Pro Tip, everyone. if the first thing people talk about around here is money when you meet them...run. They aren't worth your time or effort.

Pay for no one if they mean nothing to you or you just met them online yesterday.

Don't be that person.

I think everyone is losing sight of the fact that this is a paraphilia we're discussing. It's sexual.

If you are sexually aroused by the idea of someone gaining weight, you're a feeder. If you're sexually aroused at the thought of gaining weight yourself, you're a feedee. Or you could be both.

Whether one ever takes steps to realize these fantasies doesn't change the underlying fact that there's a sexual element at the core of all of this. And "feeder" and "feedee" are the established terms for people who have these sexual proclivities. That's all. It's shorthand.

I don't think there should suddenly be all these new prerequisites qualifying anyone as a "real" feeder or a "real" feedee beyond that.

I suppose I can see a slight distinction between an "encourager" and a "feeder." But if we are going to make that distinction, then "feeding" someone long-distance or any other way besides in-person isn't "real" "feeding" so much as it is "enabling."

I disagree. It's the weight gain element that differentiates fat admirers from feeders and feedees. It's the process that's crucial.

There are plenty of fat admirers who have no particular desire to see those they admire get any fatter. In fact, there are many fat admirers who look askance at feeders/feedees and consider it a bridge too far.

I also have been into this for many years and that long-standing debate has been raging for as long as I can remember.

OK, I could concede that being a feeder constitutes tangibly feeding someone.

But then, you would have to concede that there's no such thing as "virtual feeding" or "long-distance" feeding. That should more properly be called "donating food" or "financial support."

If they're lucky, the donator might get to watch the recipient eat. That also is not "feeding." That's "watching someone eat."

I also think that what is not being taken into account is that people contribute to this site and others like it in ways besides modeling, cams, and so on.

How about artwork, stories, even just being an active member in chat or in the forums...there are plenty of people here who put in a lot of effort into creating content without much expectation of reciprocity. Is it freeloading for people to consume that content when it is freely shared? There is something to be said for participating just for the joy of doing it, or to find other like-minded individuals, or just to express one's ideas. So I do think there is something to be said for the "fantasy" part of Fantasy Feeder.