Gaining

Surely if you can sincerely recite the Glutton's Pledge you're one...but that's raising the bar pretty high. What are the minimal criteria?

What is the Glutton's Pledge?

Oops, sorry! askdrfeeder.dyndns.org/pledge.html

I like it! Thanks!

May I copy and paste it here?

Okay, but only if you add the link to your profile!

Done.

I, __________, promise to eat all I want, of whatever I want, whenever I want. 

I will eat when I'm sad to cheer myself up.

I will eat when I'm happy for the sheer joy of it.

I will learn to enjoy eating even when I'm full.

My belly will grow and proudly proclaim my devotion.

My appetite will become greedier, allowing me to eat even more.

I will rejoice when people criticize my weight, for they confirm my progress.

I will rejoice when people criticize my appetite, for they confirm my confidence.

I will gain and not be ashamed; on the contrary, I will feast in celebration.

I will eat joyfully and bear my new pounds cheerfully, so as to be an inspiration to others.

I will eat.

And eat.

And eat!