I have no experience either, all my knowledge comes from porn and fetlife, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
But basically, you need to get her consent to stop thinking about her consent. You do that by discussing her limits. Once you know that you can do literally anything you want within some boundaries, you can feel free to just go wild and experiment. At that point it becomes a game where you are testing the limits of your own comfort zone while still staying within hers.
In general, you shouldn't be asking her if she's still ok during each act. That's a good way to make her lose the immersion and get frustrated. It's best to just try something and watch her reaction to see how she's doing. If she's not ok with it, she will tell you or give you a clear sign. The best way to dom is when you feel free to be wickedly creative, rather than feeling constrained to a rigid scenario. Nobody likes to be a service top. If something you both want to do feels unnatural to you at first, keep trying it anyway and fake it til you make it.
With being a Master instead of just a dom, there's a lot more to it. But all the same rules apply, you just need to apply it to every facet of her life instead of just sex. Try to keep her busy throughout the day instead of having long periods where she's waiting on you to tell her what to do.
Since you wanted ideas, here are some to get started with...
If she likes physical domination -- you can set up scenarios where she is bound and blindfolded, and then (safely) cause her pain. More than the pain itself, she'll be into the fear of not knowing when or where the next blow will land, and being powerless to avoid it.
You can also work domination into your normal sex routine by physically handling her. Instead of telling her to get on the bed, push her onto the bed and move her into position yourself. You can also do things like pulling her hair, slapping her face, pushing her head down, covering her mouth, etc. so she feels completely at your mercy. It's a simple addition, but it works.
If she likes emotional domination -- then it's much better to improvise than keep doing the same things, since she can get used to it. Whatever you do, the point is for her to feel much lower than you. Things like making her eat off the floor, rubbing her face in food, making her kiss your shoes, etc. Always follow up a degrading act by making fun of her to drive it home. Play on her insecurities, because that will have the most effect.
You can work humiliation into normal sex by doing things that make her feel awkward or embarrassed. For example, while she's deepthroating you, you could hold her head in place, tell her to recite the pledge of allegiance, and then scold her for mumbling. Spitting on her face is another easy thing you can do in any occasion. As long as you're laughing at her misery, she'll enjoy it.
If she likes mental domination -- this is the trickiest to get right, and some understanding of human psychology is a plus. One aspect of mental domination can be to set yourself up as being all-knowing. Pay attention to her fantasies and then tell her how she's feeling when you act them out. Ask her questions about what aspects she likes and how she feels about herself for liking it, then feed the information back to her next time. Try to get inside her head as much as possible. The more accurate you are, the more she will be impressed and intimidated, and therefore submissive.
In mindfuck scenarios the idea is to keep her feeling disoriented and emotionally out of control. Be unpredictable and break her expectations at every turn. Hide your true emotions and intentions from her, give her the impression that almost anything can happen, and then completely outsmart her. Add elements of withholding what she wants, edging and teasing. Make sure she feels as though it isn't just roleplay and something real is at stake (when in reality it's still just roleplay and within her limits). This will probably take careful planning to set up.
In the context of a long term relationships with a TPE dynamic, the point is instead to increase her devotion to you and her reliance on you. There are many ways to do this, but you basically need to strip her of all autonomy. Make her ask permission to orgasm or go to the bathroom or sit on furniture. Make sure the only food she eats is hand fed by you. Have rules for clothes, eye contact, posture, and speech. Make it so that she is hyper aware of every movement she makes, as everything is done in your service. Punish her when she screws up, but not with pain. Instead, give her long periods of sensory deprivation as a "timeout". Yes, this will be extremely exhausting for you.
But yeah, just make sure she is into the stuff you want to try before you try it. Hope this helped.
EDIT: Forgot to mention aftercare. Google it, it's important.
But basically, you need to get her consent to stop thinking about her consent. You do that by discussing her limits. Once you know that you can do literally anything you want within some boundaries, you can feel free to just go wild and experiment. At that point it becomes a game where you are testing the limits of your own comfort zone while still staying within hers.
In general, you shouldn't be asking her if she's still ok during each act. That's a good way to make her lose the immersion and get frustrated. It's best to just try something and watch her reaction to see how she's doing. If she's not ok with it, she will tell you or give you a clear sign. The best way to dom is when you feel free to be wickedly creative, rather than feeling constrained to a rigid scenario. Nobody likes to be a service top. If something you both want to do feels unnatural to you at first, keep trying it anyway and fake it til you make it.
With being a Master instead of just a dom, there's a lot more to it. But all the same rules apply, you just need to apply it to every facet of her life instead of just sex. Try to keep her busy throughout the day instead of having long periods where she's waiting on you to tell her what to do.
Since you wanted ideas, here are some to get started with...
If she likes physical domination -- you can set up scenarios where she is bound and blindfolded, and then (safely) cause her pain. More than the pain itself, she'll be into the fear of not knowing when or where the next blow will land, and being powerless to avoid it.
You can also work domination into your normal sex routine by physically handling her. Instead of telling her to get on the bed, push her onto the bed and move her into position yourself. You can also do things like pulling her hair, slapping her face, pushing her head down, covering her mouth, etc. so she feels completely at your mercy. It's a simple addition, but it works.
If she likes emotional domination -- then it's much better to improvise than keep doing the same things, since she can get used to it. Whatever you do, the point is for her to feel much lower than you. Things like making her eat off the floor, rubbing her face in food, making her kiss your shoes, etc. Always follow up a degrading act by making fun of her to drive it home. Play on her insecurities, because that will have the most effect.
You can work humiliation into normal sex by doing things that make her feel awkward or embarrassed. For example, while she's deepthroating you, you could hold her head in place, tell her to recite the pledge of allegiance, and then scold her for mumbling. Spitting on her face is another easy thing you can do in any occasion. As long as you're laughing at her misery, she'll enjoy it.
If she likes mental domination -- this is the trickiest to get right, and some understanding of human psychology is a plus. One aspect of mental domination can be to set yourself up as being all-knowing. Pay attention to her fantasies and then tell her how she's feeling when you act them out. Ask her questions about what aspects she likes and how she feels about herself for liking it, then feed the information back to her next time. Try to get inside her head as much as possible. The more accurate you are, the more she will be impressed and intimidated, and therefore submissive.
In mindfuck scenarios the idea is to keep her feeling disoriented and emotionally out of control. Be unpredictable and break her expectations at every turn. Hide your true emotions and intentions from her, give her the impression that almost anything can happen, and then completely outsmart her. Add elements of withholding what she wants, edging and teasing. Make sure she feels as though it isn't just roleplay and something real is at stake (when in reality it's still just roleplay and within her limits). This will probably take careful planning to set up.
In the context of a long term relationships with a TPE dynamic, the point is instead to increase her devotion to you and her reliance on you. There are many ways to do this, but you basically need to strip her of all autonomy. Make her ask permission to orgasm or go to the bathroom or sit on furniture. Make sure the only food she eats is hand fed by you. Have rules for clothes, eye contact, posture, and speech. Make it so that she is hyper aware of every movement she makes, as everything is done in your service. Punish her when she screws up, but not with pain. Instead, give her long periods of sensory deprivation as a "timeout". Yes, this will be extremely exhausting for you.
But yeah, just make sure she is into the stuff you want to try before you try it. Hope this helped.
EDIT: Forgot to mention aftercare. Google it, it's important.
6 years
