Submission and domination

Warning: read this text only if you have accepted all about your own aging process and you are sure that nothing on that subject can harm to you and/or if you have sadomasochist fantasies about it.



In February 2019, I will become 37. I can’t believe it. I see the wall of 40 years old rushing to me at full speed. Each time somebody says the number 40, even in another context, I turn pale. I don’t want to get old, I want to be further desired, I want women to still find me attractive. I see more and more aging signs in my mirror. I try to hide them, but it depresses me. Why do I have to progressively give back, to gradually lose on a long time scale all things which were given to me at the beginning of adulthood and which made of me a so wonderful man, which made my life so beautiful and my dreams come true? My pain is just stronger. I try to believe that I should enjoy the little youth and beauty remaining to me before there is nothing left, but this makes the mourning process permanent. And how is it possible to enjoy something which deteriorates inexorably and which will be soon completely and definitively lost? Time destroys everything, and pain caused by it is particularly refined.

I gained a lot of weight with time, and that’s only the beginning. Young people have already to be much disciplined in order to stay thin, they must make sacrifices, deprive themselves, endure hunger, “suffer to be beautiful.” But time, like a sadistic monster, reduces continuously our metabolism as we age. In order to keep its young man or young girl figure, or simply not to gain more weight, it is then necessary to make more and more sacrifices, to deprive itself more and more, to extend again and again the list of loved things one now must give up, to starve itself more and more, to endure a more and more intense and long-lasting hunger. Since I can’t suffer that way but I always give up, I know that I will become fatter and fatter with time. Time is turning me progressively into an ugly and monstrously obese middle-aged man.

I am rather disturbed after reading your thoughts. Despite your disclaimer, I can't help thinking your views about your own aging process unsettling.

It's the nature of our universe that we are born, flourish, peak, and then start to diminish. These things happen. Yet, there is plenty of beauty there. It's not the usual kind, the easy kind, the kind that is appealing to everyone, but it is there. I see older people all the time who have great beauty. A woman I work with is approaching 60, and besides having taken good care of herself, she has a beautiful profile and looks wonderful.

You probably have plenty of years after 40, so you should probably get beyond this point. You have to appreciate yourself and learn to be happy with where you are in life.

I know I've misunderstood your post, but I can't help it. You need to enjoy where you are in life. There's only one way to stop aging, so unless you plan on that, you will get older.

I had a long period in my life during which I was indeed terrified by aging. I cried a lot, I spent hours in the night thinking about it. But then, my brain solved it by turning these thoughts into SM fantasies. Now, it is not really a problem for me anymore (but the way I wrote the 1st post has something to do with my past, when I didn't accept it.)

I agree. I dont understand what's so wrong with ageing. As a teenager I kept hiding under baggy clothes whereas bow I glorify my curves with appropriate clothes and most importantly with a greater self confidence. I wouldn't change that 4 the whole world.

Admittedly I do look younger than my age
I can see that by the way ppl talk to me. But it must be bc I didn't waste too much of my time with yoyo-dieting. Anyway even if I had 1million wrinkles I would never change the experience and... the naughtiness I have now for the naive little girl who was ashamed of her fantasies and her fetish.

It is different when somebody is fat when he/she is 20. He/she can for exemple have more acceptance for it or for the fact that it is what he/she wants ten years laters (or have lost the weight.) But most people are slim with 20, gain weight later (unintentionally) and associate it with aging.

In my case, I was skinny with 20 and as a result, I didn't look so good. I started gaining weight when I was 22. It totally changed me, I became more and more beautiful (even my face.) But I peaked in my late 20's (a very high peak compared with the average of men.) Since then, as I can see myself and also from the reaction of young women to me, I am on the descending part of the curve. That's OK now, I could see that life can still be amazing at any age, there is still love between men and women. And by the way, FFAs generally find me now the hottest.

Sorry but if you reach 125kg as you write on yr profile it is NOT bc you are 37. It is bc you EAT. which is good, healthy and for a lot of ppl even sexy. But if that is not the case for you and it makes you unhappy you know what you have to do about it. In my own experience ppl are on FFA bc they ENJOY who they are and sometimes in a consensual scenario they may or may not enjoy being teased. Not bc they are victims of ageing, metabolism or whatever. While age and genetics may play a role ppl can always be the best they can be

Of course, I weigh 125 kg because I eat more than I need, but in my fantasies, obesity is often linked to aging. Healthy: it depends. I think that in your case it is healthy. But in my case, it is not healthy anymore, and all but natural, because I have in fact skinny genes. I am not unhappy with being fat, I am a passionate gainer. I often shame myself about it, because I also have masochist fantasies about being fat or not so young.

In my opinion, people (female/male) should wear revealing clothes at any age and any weight. For example, I often wear too short shirts in public on purpose, like "crop tops" (as a fat man), and if I lived until 70 or 80 (what is very unlikely because of my health), I would still wear them. All the city sees my belly hanging out, some women find me hot, and I offer them something that is unfortunately very rare in our society. I also think for example that for women, mini skirts in public are for for any age/weight. The outer should stay important at any age, whatever the majority thinks.