Fat experiences

Exactly....

It's just a kink you like. Dont be ashamed of it..

I don’t know what it is that keeps drawing me back too, but it does. I’ve tried to get rid of it too, even having joined Weight Watchers, but the longer I stay with this and the fatter I get the more I’m drawn in. I don’t think, barring health issues, there’s any going back. I see fat guys and say I really want to look like them.

I don't think you can get rid of it. And why should you, anyway?

I had many times, where I wanted to be bigger than I was, find a girlfriend similarly bis as my fantasized self would be...
Never happened.

But in my early 30s I suddenly gained unintendedly and I embraced it. I love it. I struggled along the way -mostly when people make fun of my weight gain- but feeling my new softness, seeing how my wife likes to cuddle more with the softer me I can only recommend to not get rid of it.

In my case I am sure that I was hard wired to be a gainer from the start. It developed when I was young. In my early teens I thought that it might be a passing phase but as time went on I knew that it was not. I could not stop the arousal that I experienced thinking of myself as obese. I used to try to get the desire to be fat out of my head and for a while I succeeded but sure enough like a rising tide it came back only stronger than before. You can be a thin gainer or an obese one; that depends whether you give in to it or not. But you will always be a gainer. In view of this, I think it is best to yield to it. Life is just much more pleasant and fulfilling if you are the person you were always supposed to be.

I went to see a therapist about this as it was a major bone of contention with my ex and I.

In summary this is what was the advice:

Ultimately, there are a lot of cultural issues to unwrap along with the question as to whether feerderism/fat fetishism is actually a paraphilia or not. Fat does not sit along side the body but is a part of it. A preference for a hair color or a height range is no different to a preference to a weight range, so if you are less in to feeding and more in to fat then your preference is aesthetic.

What "gets you in to it" in the case where wanting to feed/be fed can be looked at in developmental psychology terms in the same manner as a paraphilia which can be a range of reasons, classically thought to stem from stimulation in early sexual development at the same time as being exposed to something related to the paraphilia.

What got me in to fat was likely that the healthier members of my family growing up (those that didn't suffer from any illnesses and were usually doing better financially and were seen as happier in life) were the overweight ones. I had better interactions with fat people than with not fat people.