Fattening others

My kids eat like birds. So no... BUT it's always great to then see my wife polish off their uneaten french fries – as every good fat mom should!

I didn't realize how much she looked forward to it until one time they ordered all fruit sides and she was angry that she had no extra fries to pick at!

Why thank you! I will gladly take a seat.

*settles into large comfy chair in the family living room for conversation time*

My family has a lot of potlucks. The fat-loving family members ask me to make the casseroles because they know I'll add tons of eggs, cheese, butter and other fattening stuff that tastes good... and I always add one healthy ingredient (tiny flecks of broccoli or spinach) so the dieting family members will eat it, too.

I'm sure the occasional casserole calorie bomb won't cause significant weight gain...

...or will it?

This sounds like it could be fattening. Could you please post your reciepe for it in the food section?

This sounds like it could be fattening. Could you please post your reciepe for it in the food section?

Oh, there's no recipe.

All I do is I take whatever recipe is in the current issue of Bon Appetit or Southern Living, or maybe I just Google something and find an AllRecipes or Food Network recipe...

...and then I secretly dial down the vegetables until there's barely a teaspoon of actual veggies per serving....

...and I secretly add extra butter, extra eggs, pour a few glugs of beer or wine, if it's a dessert then obviously more sugar, more heavy cream....

...and then I lie. That's right, I tell falsehoods. I deceive the unwitting. I say, oh yes, I got this recipe from Southern Living (or wherever), and I followed it to a T! Did it not turn out like this for you? I'm sure I don't know where I went wrong! 🤥 [Pinocchio emoji]

Oooh goody, DazedandConfused is here and is offering me a seat.

Why, thank you!

*has a seat*

*settles comfortably into the seat*

Let's keep talking about the topic at hand: inadvertently feeding family members.

With a shared kitchen, you never know who's going to discover those leftovers or treats or ... oops.

With a shared genetic background, if one family member gets fat, it gives cover to another to say, "couldn't help it, it's genetic."

Well all know the OP is jacking it to some taboo fantasy but do we really need I Sawx to kink shame everything?

Family is too small and too dispersed for that but for our "life long" friends I tend to up the calorie count.

One of our (single, female) friends has a petite body on which any gain looks good. I always do "something nice" for her; bring a mocca coffee with a box of donuts and a cream cheese bagel. A "No thanks, I had one and it's a lot after my big breakfast" later she's left with at least 5-6 left over donuts in the box.