5 years
When does encouragement go too far?
Nok:
Women don't gain 60 pounds because one random person says its cool to have ice cream.
FemaleFatAdmirer:
Blamers and shamers:
Seriously, OP is doing nothing wrong by saying it's OK to eat what you want. Because guess what? It actually is OK. For this woman. For everyone. It is OK to eat what you want. No matter what size you are.
It is understandable that someone who is gaining might be conflicted, especially a woman gaining that much in a short time. People are shaming her. Maybe it's subtle looks and things, but make no mistake.
Don't we all experience that internal conflict in our lives in some way, where there's a choice we want to keep making even though we don't like (some of) the (possible) consequences? Whether it's a choice to procrastinate or do sloppy work or tell a small lie... Does blurring the line of who's responsible for that choice ever help anyone?
Kink-shamers who want to put the responsibility on you for what this woman chooses to eat are not helping.
What she needs is unconditional support, not for someone else to share in the responsibility for, or take the blame for, her choices.
Unconditional support looks like listening closely to what she says she wants, and being there to either help her with it, cheer her on, enjoy it alongside her, whatever. If she's conflicted, she may want you to support her diet one day and her cheat day the next. Roll with it. It is always her choice, and you are there to support.
Women don't gain 60 pounds because one random person says its cool to have ice cream.
FemaleFatAdmirer:
Blamers and shamers:
Seriously, OP is doing nothing wrong by saying it's OK to eat what you want. Because guess what? It actually is OK. For this woman. For everyone. It is OK to eat what you want. No matter what size you are.
It is understandable that someone who is gaining might be conflicted, especially a woman gaining that much in a short time. People are shaming her. Maybe it's subtle looks and things, but make no mistake.
Don't we all experience that internal conflict in our lives in some way, where there's a choice we want to keep making even though we don't like (some of) the (possible) consequences? Whether it's a choice to procrastinate or do sloppy work or tell a small lie... Does blurring the line of who's responsible for that choice ever help anyone?
Kink-shamers who want to put the responsibility on you for what this woman chooses to eat are not helping.
What she needs is unconditional support, not for someone else to share in the responsibility for, or take the blame for, her choices.
Unconditional support looks like listening closely to what she says she wants, and being there to either help her with it, cheer her on, enjoy it alongside her, whatever. If she's conflicted, she may want you to support her diet one day and her cheat day the next. Roll with it. It is always her choice, and you are there to support.
this
5 years