My experience with it so far has been somewhat addicting. I rarely feel a sense of satisfaction unless I consume a LOT of calories, ideally at least 4,000. And the desire for the ability to eat more.
When I started, I took it slow.. that I wanted to see what 10 to 15 more would look and feel like.
But every time I either reached my goal or close, it hasn't seemed like enough.
I've also noticed that I actually enjoy eating more often than not now, ever since I gained weight. I now crave fattier (and ultimately more delicious) food, and some more of it than I used to. I eat dessert, candy, and other sweets more often now. This is fun, and I don't want to stop. Maybe when I feel more satisfied with my size I'll drink less cream and take it easier on the half & half, but I still crave triple patty burgers with bacon and I don't think I ever want to stop.
I also feel a sense of satisfaction each time I've added another inch to my thighs and elsewhere, or whenever I've graduated to a larger clothing size.
At first I was dismayed by the starter belly I've started to grow, but I think I've come to like it. I even find myself sometimes inadvertently rubbing it when no one is looking.
Of course, there's other motivating factors.
- When I started, I really was far too skinny.
- In the U.S., if you're a man it's better to be overweight or even slightly obese than it is to be skinny. Most folks have at least a little bit of soft flab around their midsections too. The average American white male, aged 20-59 is, as of this writing is 5'9", weighs about 202 lbs, and has a 40" waist or slightly larger.
- Most happy couples with a fat woman have a fat man, so gaining weight should improve my ability to date and ultimately marry a fat woman.
- Some women get self-conscious if she eats or orders much more food than her date, boyfriend, or husband. The heavier I get, the more I need to eat. Of course, this may just be an excuse for me to eat more and grow heavier.
My current goal is around 170, but I suspect I may not want to stop there. On some days I dream of weighing 220. At that point I would hopefully have a large, soft gut, thick arms great for hugging, and chunky, stout legs that I would feel confident showing off in shorts.
4 years
