General

I need help

softandchubby:
I have clinical depression. I find this community is very helpful and can be kind. I work an opposite schedule of my friends and boyfriend. I'm alone probably 20 hours a day. I work a job I hate yet am not in the financial state to where I can quit. I just need help or advice on to how to occupy my mind. I'm reaching for straws at this point and my mind is winning a neverending battle with me and it's not good. It seems I wont be able to not be alone so I just need advice or tips on keeping myself occupied so and not being dramatic I dont overthink or convince myself I'm worthless etc or even if someone just wants to be a friend and have conversation about hobbies and interests and just help me stay safe that's super cool too.


I have read the other suggestions here, and they all seem pretty good -- except perhaps just watching TV.

You need to do something active, and perhaps participate with others.

Writing is what keeps me sane. I write poems, stories, essays and I share with others here and elsewhere (Feabie, DeviantArt, other places for non-fat-fetish stuff).

Take a community education class. You are in a big city, compared to many of us. Look for art or writing classes. You'll get to meet people who are much like you.

With the current political climate, find an issue which you feel strongly about, and find the grassroots organization in your city which works on that issue. Again, you'll meet nice people who feel much as you do about the world, and you'll have things to do, and people to meet.

All this can be tough to do. I'm not pretending it's easy to just reach out, but these are just some ideas.
5 years

I need help

I admire your strength in talking about this, it's not easy. I have anxiety and depression, they both suck a big bag of dicks.

Get around people, it's a great distraction even if it's just people watching (which can also inspire stories to write). Last night I forced myself to go visit a friend because my mind hadn't stopped all day and I knew sitting home was a bad idea.

Going out into nature helps me a lot. Find the sublime, it will make you realize how small a lot of the things your brain is making seem so big are. Gardening, birdwatching, and simple walks in the woods are good low impact activities, if you can handle it climb a mountain or high hill and look around at all the beauty in the world. I also find that trivia and word puzzles (crosswords, cryptograms, soduku, etc) work really well at keeping the mind occupied. Just watching TV can make things worse for me, as it often depicts either a "perfect world" that doesn't exist (but my brain insists it does and that I don't fit in it) or provides an overwhelming amount of what's real (stay away from news channels!).

Creativity is good. I am no artist so drawing/painting can be frustrating, however coloring books work well. I have about 3 and a set of colored pencils that were relatively cheap (dollar store) and have kept me going for a couple years now.

Feel free to shoot me a message any time.
5 years

I need help

Are you getting any treatment or support for your depression? Depression isn't just something that you can will away, so if you are not getting any help, please try to find what is available to you. And if you are getting help, maybe talk about how you have been doing lately and see if there is more support that you can get?
5 years

I need help

This is a fetish website. When people are sad, depressed or whatever. We should only tell them to go see a professional.

I doubt there are many counselors and the like on this website.

While we all want to be helpful and offer advice, you don't know the person you're talking to, at all. The things you say with good intentions will likely just make everything worse in the long run.

All we should do if posts like this come up is to tell the OP to get help with the problem with a professional.

This is something that takes lots of time and energy to deal with. One forum post with a list of suggestions isn't going to change anything.

You could easily do way more harm than good without meaning to.

It may sound cruel to shut them out, but that is the best thing you can do. Tell them you're not trained to help, but find someone who is local.

Resources exist for people like this. I don't think FF is one of them, nor should it be.

Please consider this when you're going to "Give advice" next time. For the good of everyone. When someone says they have clinical depression, do the right thing and point them in the direction of professionals.

If they say "Pros can't help" Then walk away. you did your part. You reached out.

You might end up making things so much worse without meaning to. No one needs that on their conscience.
4 years

I need help

I also have clinical depression, but I find that just occupying my mind with hobbies doesn't really pay off. It can be fun in the moment, but I still end up just as depressed after. Here's what actually works for me.

- Keep taking your medication
- See a therapist
- Make time to hang out with friends IN PERSON at least once a week. Rearrange your schedule somehow or make new friends that you can hang with on your time. We're social creatures that aren't meant to be alone, so your depression will win if you can't do this.
- Finally, make a life plan. Here's how.

Basically, you start by picturing what your life would look like in the future if you have everything you need to be truly content. Any dreams or goals you might have.
Then you work backwards from there, thinking of what you would need to do to get from where you are now to your dream life.
Then you break down those tasks into small, specific steps. "Get a better job" is too vague. List every small step involved, including touching up your resume, which sites you will look at listings on, etc. figure out what your salary would need to be to pay for your monthly expenses in the future. If you want to buy a house in 10 years, research the prices, the neighborhood and everything else now. Do all the research up front on everything so that nothing is left to figure out later.
This is a big research project that will take you weeks or even a couple of months to complete, but your mind will be completely occupied the whole time. By the time you finish, you'll have a step by step guide that you know will make your life great at the end.
Then, just make an effort to work on completing your to-do list one small step at a time. Allow yourself to celebrate each accomplishment. As long as you keep checking things off your list and making progress, you will feel a lot better. Hands down the most effective at relieving my symptoms. Of course your mileage may vary. But this is solid advice for everybody on earth, not just depressed people.
4 years