4 years
Have you ever been scared off at any point about this fetish? fas, feedees & feeders/resses welc
Occasionally, yes. But the feelings usually subside.
When I was much younger, back in the pre-puberty days, I was scared in the sense that I had a hard time coming to terms with it. But times were different then, and everyone, especially Americans were much thinner.
Back in those days, folks in general were much thinner and the pressure was thus, much greater. The World Wide Web was just taking off.
Sometimes I wonder if the younger members understand just how good they have it in this regard. The body positivity movement, and the fact almost every clothing brand offers larger clothing sizes. Even as recently as '08, plus-size mannequins were very rare; now they're everywhere. I'm not aware of any clothing brand that won't offer at least 44" waist/18" neck/2XL in men's, or at least a size 18 in ladies, with some that go up to 22 or 24. That you don't have to wear ugly clothes that frankly don't flatter anyone. Not anymore. But I digress.
For a long time, I think I actually suppressed a desire to be much heavier. For a long time, I even had a hard time eating most of the time, and I didn't want to come to terms with this. Lots of possible reasons. Depression maybe? Or fear of change? Or fear or being scared to finally embrace it?
I tried the occasional stuffing here and there. Two large size milkshakes in one go, or straight heavy cream here and there rarely; nothing too major.
But at some point, I decided to finally do something about it. 125 lbs really was too skinny, even by non-feederism standards. Between the suppressed desire, the fact feedees/gainers seem to have a lot of fun eating, and a bit a curiosity, I thought I'd go for it.
There's also the fact that in nearly all couples with a BBW, the man is also heavy. And life is too short to be unhappy in all things. If I didn't like it, surely I could stop at 10 lbs.
Even though I was kind of scared at first, for the last almost 2 years I've been gaining on purpose. Every time I gained, I wanted to gain more. I wondered if I was going to get comments, but I haven't really gotten any, at least not to my face from anyone in public. I'm still working on a weight gain goal.
Nowadays, I have less fear, but sometimes it still rears it's head. It may be just because I'm in my 30s, so if someone random in the general public doesn't care for it, it doesn't really matter.
There are two things I still fear though. One is what my mother might say. I know I can't let her control my life, but at the same time I don't want, and can't really cast her away.
Traditionally, she hasn't always said the nicest things about fat people. Lacking self-control or other such things, or "this obese lady eating a couple really big pieces of cake" (as if she's not supposed to). Although, there have been some fat, or at least chubby or plump individuals she respects. I'm just not sure what she might say if her son weighs 170, or 200, or 220 so I'm still scared of that.
She also doesn't know that I prefer women who weigh at least 200-250ish, although I have a solution to deal with that whenever that comes. I'll just tell my mother that I love her, think she's cool, and that I don't mind. If it's a real, serious relationship I wouldn't even have to lie. My mother did once say out loud without prompting that I could go out with someone who's heavy, because "she can lose the weight later." Of course, unless she's so big that day to day, independent life is no longer possible, I'm not going to apply any such pressure. That's not happening.
I guess you could say I'm still afraid of a moment of truth, or an ultimatum, whether it's being given one, or having to give one. But maybe this fear is overblown.
Speaking of, I'm not sure what to expect when I'm 200 or 220. This is uncharted territory for me.
However, despite these feelings, I still nevertheless plan to eat larger quantities of delicious, fatty food, drinking heavy cream shakes, half & half like milk, baked sweet goods, slathering on butter or cream cheese on bread and bagels, triple burgers with bacon (that have 3/4 of a pound of beef), etc.
Still going to ensure at least 3,000 calories a day and at least a cup of heavy cream, that I hope to increase to at least 4,000 calories on average and at least a pint of cream every day. Despite the fears I've mentioned, I would still like to be at least 180 lbs this summer, ideally 200.
When I was much younger, back in the pre-puberty days, I was scared in the sense that I had a hard time coming to terms with it. But times were different then, and everyone, especially Americans were much thinner.
Back in those days, folks in general were much thinner and the pressure was thus, much greater. The World Wide Web was just taking off.
Sometimes I wonder if the younger members understand just how good they have it in this regard. The body positivity movement, and the fact almost every clothing brand offers larger clothing sizes. Even as recently as '08, plus-size mannequins were very rare; now they're everywhere. I'm not aware of any clothing brand that won't offer at least 44" waist/18" neck/2XL in men's, or at least a size 18 in ladies, with some that go up to 22 or 24. That you don't have to wear ugly clothes that frankly don't flatter anyone. Not anymore. But I digress.
For a long time, I think I actually suppressed a desire to be much heavier. For a long time, I even had a hard time eating most of the time, and I didn't want to come to terms with this. Lots of possible reasons. Depression maybe? Or fear of change? Or fear or being scared to finally embrace it?
I tried the occasional stuffing here and there. Two large size milkshakes in one go, or straight heavy cream here and there rarely; nothing too major.
But at some point, I decided to finally do something about it. 125 lbs really was too skinny, even by non-feederism standards. Between the suppressed desire, the fact feedees/gainers seem to have a lot of fun eating, and a bit a curiosity, I thought I'd go for it.
There's also the fact that in nearly all couples with a BBW, the man is also heavy. And life is too short to be unhappy in all things. If I didn't like it, surely I could stop at 10 lbs.
Even though I was kind of scared at first, for the last almost 2 years I've been gaining on purpose. Every time I gained, I wanted to gain more. I wondered if I was going to get comments, but I haven't really gotten any, at least not to my face from anyone in public. I'm still working on a weight gain goal.
Nowadays, I have less fear, but sometimes it still rears it's head. It may be just because I'm in my 30s, so if someone random in the general public doesn't care for it, it doesn't really matter.
There are two things I still fear though. One is what my mother might say. I know I can't let her control my life, but at the same time I don't want, and can't really cast her away.
Traditionally, she hasn't always said the nicest things about fat people. Lacking self-control or other such things, or "this obese lady eating a couple really big pieces of cake" (as if she's not supposed to). Although, there have been some fat, or at least chubby or plump individuals she respects. I'm just not sure what she might say if her son weighs 170, or 200, or 220 so I'm still scared of that.
She also doesn't know that I prefer women who weigh at least 200-250ish, although I have a solution to deal with that whenever that comes. I'll just tell my mother that I love her, think she's cool, and that I don't mind. If it's a real, serious relationship I wouldn't even have to lie. My mother did once say out loud without prompting that I could go out with someone who's heavy, because "she can lose the weight later." Of course, unless she's so big that day to day, independent life is no longer possible, I'm not going to apply any such pressure. That's not happening.
I guess you could say I'm still afraid of a moment of truth, or an ultimatum, whether it's being given one, or having to give one. But maybe this fear is overblown.
Speaking of, I'm not sure what to expect when I'm 200 or 220. This is uncharted territory for me.
However, despite these feelings, I still nevertheless plan to eat larger quantities of delicious, fatty food, drinking heavy cream shakes, half & half like milk, baked sweet goods, slathering on butter or cream cheese on bread and bagels, triple burgers with bacon (that have 3/4 of a pound of beef), etc.
Still going to ensure at least 3,000 calories a day and at least a cup of heavy cream, that I hope to increase to at least 4,000 calories on average and at least a pint of cream every day. Despite the fears I've mentioned, I would still like to be at least 180 lbs this summer, ideally 200.
4 years