General

sometimes but less and less. life is too short to let other ppl tell you what to do

I think everyone feels a bit of shame for thier links sometimes, especially when it falls outside of the "normal " things

I've been doing this for over 10 years now...

Its hard not to feel ashamed as the world judges us fatties like were criminals at times. I spent a good part of my life hiding my feelings and desires and it nearly killed me (literally). So now although i don't shout it from the roof i have embraced it and those that "get it"

Not once have I felt shame.

I used to feel ashamed because I was always a good cook and I enjoyed bigger females and then that germinated to me being a feeder which made me more mindful and thoughtful but over time that morphed into me being more of a feedee. It is just a change in your mindset. Most of us have an ego and we care too much what folks that don't support our preference thinks about us. My obstacle was overcoming what I thought folks were thinking about me and it was an older feedee named Jada who told me that: "if you liked your fat then who cares what anyone thinks because most of the time we think folks are watching us when they don't really care and they don't !" And she was right. The fatter I became no one paid me any attention and there is freedom in that. Some of us in this fetish do it because it is exciting to have likes outside of the norm but for me it is about a self actualization. I wanted to see how fat could I become and I evaluate it every thirty to sixty pounds and if it becomes too much of a burden then I will stop until then I want to have the experience of waddling and having a gut that hits the top of my legs as I try to walk and it is liberating to realize no one but you cares about it anyway.

No, I like being fat and I like who I am. My clothes fit for the most part. And there are too many good looking and sexy fat men for there to be anything wrong with this or ashamed of.

I think most, maybe even all of us, have felt shame about this fetish at some point. It's not unusual considering most of us come from a society that says fat is unequivocally bad in every way. The hope is that we come to terms with who we are and find a balance between our fetish and the rest of our lives that makes us happy as individuals.

For most people I’ve spoken to about this, which has been a lot (I like to hear people’s feedism backstories), nearly all of us have had to deal with some amount of shame along the way towards engaging confidently and happily with this fetish community.
What that shame has felt like to each person whose experienced it, though, does tends to vary. For me it wasn’t thinking negatively about myself for what was turning me on, just a *strong, deep-seated* apprehension and aversion towards any notion of where my feedee desires might one day take me if I let myself go. I had a very limited range of fantasy weight gain and anything beyond that gave me a jolt of anxiety and instantly turned me off.
I knew at the time that the anxiety feels came from the fear of only belonging outside of society as I knew it, like a “fear of future shame”... in hindsight, there’s not a lot of difference, if any, to the shame you asked about.

I encourage you to keep in mind that feeling ashamed of a fetish, or any aspect of your sexuality and/or fantasies, is a reaction to the way you’ve seen fatness and/or feedism rejected by your family/loved ones, social life, and society as a whole. A few thousand years ago, social rejection meant certain death; this is not a trivial thing to overcome.

tl;dr: The shame is normal. It’s just your lizard brain telling you you’ll die if you buck societal rules and norms (you won’t).

Honestly, I’ve got a load I could add about how I personally got from “there” to here, if you want to hear it..? I tend to ramble in these posts so I’ll spare y’all until I’m asked 🤣

I say; let's hear it