For most people I’ve spoken to about this, which has been a lot (I like to hear people’s feedism backstories), nearly all of us have had to deal with some amount of shame along the way towards engaging confidently and happily with this fetish community.
What that shame has felt like to each person whose experienced it, though, does tends to vary. For me it wasn’t thinking negatively about myself for what was turning me on, just a *strong, deep-seated* apprehension and aversion towards any notion of where my feedee desires might one day take me if I let myself go. I had a very limited range of fantasy weight gain and anything beyond that gave me a jolt of anxiety and instantly turned me off.
I knew at the time that the anxiety feels came from the fear of only belonging outside of society as I knew it, like a “fear of future shame”... in hindsight, there’s not a lot of difference, if any, to the shame you asked about.
I encourage you to keep in mind that feeling ashamed of a fetish, or any aspect of your sexuality and/or fantasies, is a reaction to the way you’ve seen fatness and/or feedism rejected by your family/loved ones, social life, and society as a whole. A few thousand years ago, social rejection meant certain death; this is not a trivial thing to overcome.
tl;dr: The shame is normal. It’s just your lizard brain telling you you’ll die if you buck societal rules and norms (you won’t).
Honestly, I’ve got a load I could add about how I personally got from “there” to here, if you want to hear it..? I tend to ramble in these posts so I’ll spare y’all until I’m asked 🤣
What that shame has felt like to each person whose experienced it, though, does tends to vary. For me it wasn’t thinking negatively about myself for what was turning me on, just a *strong, deep-seated* apprehension and aversion towards any notion of where my feedee desires might one day take me if I let myself go. I had a very limited range of fantasy weight gain and anything beyond that gave me a jolt of anxiety and instantly turned me off.
I knew at the time that the anxiety feels came from the fear of only belonging outside of society as I knew it, like a “fear of future shame”... in hindsight, there’s not a lot of difference, if any, to the shame you asked about.
I encourage you to keep in mind that feeling ashamed of a fetish, or any aspect of your sexuality and/or fantasies, is a reaction to the way you’ve seen fatness and/or feedism rejected by your family/loved ones, social life, and society as a whole. A few thousand years ago, social rejection meant certain death; this is not a trivial thing to overcome.
tl;dr: The shame is normal. It’s just your lizard brain telling you you’ll die if you buck societal rules and norms (you won’t).
Honestly, I’ve got a load I could add about how I personally got from “there” to here, if you want to hear it..? I tend to ramble in these posts so I’ll spare y’all until I’m asked 🤣
4 years