General

How about we try to get this thread back on track …

Set aside the words and ideas used by the original poster and others throughout this thread. Some were bad and some were good, but it is honestly too hard to separate the two from each other at this point.

Instead, I ask you to focus on the subject line, which happens to be a valid and important topic for discussion on a site that revolves around body image and size, as well as the reactions of others to both.

“Women are so lucky to be stared at and admired” … This statement is both true and untrue.

TRUE … Women DO get stared at, whether they are intentionally seeking it out or not. On a site where both female and male feedees/gainers seek out the approval and appreciation of others by sharing photos and videos of their bodies … those shared by women DO get more attention than those shared by men, whether that attention comes from men or fellow women.

I can understand the frustration that men on this site, and out there in the world, have when it comes to this fact, including the frustration of the original poster, who at the time they started this thread, was in the process of transitioning from a man to woman.

I can only begin to imagine how difficult it must be to feel like, and to take the steps to become, a gender you were not born as (in this case a woman) while still having to live in a world where you are treated like, and viewed as, a gender that you do not identify as or wish to be (in this case a man) … to want to be seen and admired as women so often are, but instead be ignored and overlooked as men so often are.

TRUE … Women ARE lucky to live in a world where their bodies are admired and appreciated on a far larger scale than the bodies of men, whether they are bigger girls or not. It is a beautiful thing to be admired and appreciated, especially when it comes to your body and being able to have confidence it it … and “extra” especially when it is a larger one.

BUT (one as big as my butt) …

UNTRUE … Women ARE NOT always lucky when it comes to being stared at and/or admired for their bodies, whether that attention comes from men or fellow women. Not all attention is positive our comes from individuals who have good intentions in giving it.

Yes, women get started at more than men. Yes, women get more attention when it comes to their bodies than men. Yes, thanks to all that extra attention, women get more admiration and appreciation, more likes and comments, when it comes to their bodies. But … the flip side of that coin is that, thanks to all of that extra attention, women also get far more negativity, more put downs, abuse, and interactions with creeps and predators, when it comes to their bodies.

SO … The intended moral of this post … when you are forming an opinion about how good someone does or doesn’t have it when it comes to their gender, the way that they look, the attention they get in terms of their bodies, or anything else … look at, and think about, things from both sides.

The grass may seem greener on the other side, that doesn’t mean that it always is.

Now ... Can we all try to keep this thread on topic with the subject line in a way that is positive and constructive?😊

Thank you Just_Jess_81 for your respectful intervention. Fortunately, in my town, the steps to become a gender you were not born as are not very difficult. The acceptance level is very high, cisgender women even spoil transgender ones. It happens very often that a woman wants to offer me a cigarette or a drink “because it’s wonderful so see somebody who stands by what he/she is.” They want to make my make-up, they go with me for shopping, they defend me in night-clubs for example when a man touches my breast or forcibly kisses me (something like that happens on average every 15 min). Most people who know me call me “madam” and use the feminine form for me (in the French language, even adjectives often change in the feminine form), people who don’t know me do it at least as long as they haven’t heard my voice, most of them continue after.

I am stunned how being a fat woman is accepted. I am sometimes laugh at for that, but much more chatted up and complimented, even by native French. Maybe it’s because my face is very beautiful, but I also get compliments for my curves.

Transgender men are less visible in society, but I went to a discussion group of a transgender organization and I would say that there were about as many transmen as transwomen (normally, it’s not a matter of “it’s easier / more difficult to live as one gender rather than the other”). Unfortunately, pre-HRT transmen can’t do the same as we do with make-up.

It is very important for me to tell that I “love being fetishized”, “looked at”, “used for the sexual gratification of men” and women, “degraded with sexy pictures/vids of me”, etc., because it is a response to puritanical feminists (that’s why I use their own vocabulary) who assume that libertine things are bad. Conservatives believe these things are immoral and when puritanical feminists speak this way, conservatives then say: “Look how these ungodly things harm women!” I grew up in a very conservative evangelical family (where even make-up was considered as immoral), but I doubted it, researched for several years after which I became an unbeliever. On the contrary, I love these libertine things and I think it’s very important that people know there are also people like me, that people also hear a different opinion to the issue than the puritanical feminist / conservative one.

The absolute state of this thread.

An admin should probably remove it.

As requested, this forum has now been locked. Some interesting points have been raised so we will leave the thread here for people to view if they so wish.

A polite reminder to everyone, to be respectful to each other and keep things on topic.

Thanks,

c00kie
FF Team