General

Wouldnt say shame but fetish and kinks are often awkward to bring up in general unless you know the other person is into it.

Very much at times. My wife has gone from around 105lbs to over 200 in a short time and her gain really started when I started being honest.

As a result I sometimes feel that I made her fat.
I like the idea if she had asked me first, or she was fat when I met her (she was over 200ls until a few years before we met but lost 100lbs on a crazy series of diets) but never mentioned it until she started gaining again.

To try resolve it I often ask myself if she seems more happy and confident now than when we met, and it certainly seems so. She's more.demanding and sees herself more equal to her peers and her boss and to me and seems to feel.more confident/powerful in ever pound she gains.

She also seems to enjoy playing with her tummy a lot and strangely since gaining has switched to more revealing clothing (could be the heat).

If your preferences result in a healthy relationship then there should be less guilt than if they dont

I am not the least bit ashamed. I love big ladies, and I am vocal about it. Everyone that knows me, knows I love big ladies. Before I retired, occasionally an associate would make the mistake of trying to make fun of me for it, they eneded up being humiliated everytime. My go to was accusing them of having SPS, when I explained because of SPS they could not handle a big lady, everyone laughed and made fun of that person. The rest of the associates decided I was not the one to be messed with. I was not at the meeting where it was decided that large ladies were not pretty. Was not there when it was decided they could not wear bikinis. I don't let others dictate what I like. My almost 400 pound wife, wears her bikini and guys are always trying to hang around her. She has plenty of admirers. Don't be ashame, stand up and be proud. Ladies, confidence is the most sexy thing you can be, it certainly works for my wife. Men find her sexy and hot.

I've struggled for quite some time with feeling of shame about my fetish. My ex especially made this bad because I thought I could open up to her about how I feel as she was obese herself and strugged with depression and being self conscious, however I was told multiple times that I'm weird and that she wouldn't love me if I was fat. Being treated that way from someone I loved without question definitely has worsened my depression from having to be ashamed of my feelings, but I'm slowly starting to fix myself and realize that no one can stop me from gaining and getting the body I want because I'm done letting others make me feel bad about something that makes me happy.

I’m so sorry to hear that but great that you’re on the right path now, and doing what you want to for yourself.
We all trip along the way, but getting back up and getting on is the only way to get where you want to be.
You should be proud of yourself for sticking to what you believe in.

So happy He is an EX friend

TOTALLY agree. Btw what is SPS?

small penis syndrome, lol

Not really, but I do recognize the unrealistic nature of its most extreme aspects. To be happy life (imho) requires moderating fantasies with facts to create realistic expectations.
Fact: It's generally less healthy for a 5'2 woman to be 400lbs than 150lbs.
Fact: Society is a bitch and our culture involves a lot of inherent fat shaming right now.
Fact: I want other things out of life besides just a fat partner.
Reality: Finding a partner into the same fantasies but open to role playing together is probably a much better jumping off point for having an overall fulfilling (and long) life.

Good points. I'd say finding a partner that's on the same page is the hardest thing. If only it were as simple as 'she's already fat she'll be thrilled when I suggest I like it and suggest she can eat more and anything they like.' A lot of people have so much stigma built up that even if they're fat they hate themselves just because....that's how society says you should feel and your compliments don't get taken seriously or can even be met with anger (inherently think you can't be serious and just being a dick.

I feel guilty I guess because yes the further it goes the more you're technically encouraging someone to be unhealthy. I myself always stay fairly fit and have no gaining desires and I'm not even much into food myself. But I guess opposites attract and I find BBW who practically love food as much as sex to be irresistible.

I was recently in a relationship where she was already quite fat when we met and put on a bit more throughout. I encouraged her for her looks and her appetite and she actually learned to genuinely love her body, wear more revealing clothes, eat completely freely, etc. But if I go so far as suggesting purposely gaining weight that's where the hard lines start to come in with most people. Many see it as you trying to change them and nobody likes the overbearing feeling of that.