General

Truth is, what is really normal ? I have spent my youth traveling because my family were in television and production so in if the benefits of traveling is that you get to meet all types of people and what you find that there is no such thing as normal interests especially when it comes to sexual arousal experiences. BDSM might be in fashion now but our "culture" changes all the time so the thing is to realize that there are plenty of others who might get off to other fetishes that are not popular so they feel the same way. What I learned was that I had to find folks who genuinely like what they liked from a place of enjoyment and not narcissism and that shame I felt was a fear of not being able to "belong". I like what I like and if what I like doesn't prey on someone else; why be ashamed of it ? The hard part is looking through our community and finding like minded folks in your area who gets it and you can also meet others who feel the same way and that broadens your horizons. We are weirdos who enjoy fat and why disown that ?

Easily.

Granted, i’m a known outlier amongst humanity. And an average-slender FA (not truly by choice), so i’m not proudly displaying my love of human body fat by personally wearing it.

Recently shared these on another site in our community, and they seem relevant here:

My primary care physician (at his office, paraphrased): “Shut uuuuuup about how much you love fat women already, OK?”

In the jury box, civil trial. Defense attorney is breaking the ice, asking each juror about our interests, hobbies, etc. When it was my turn to answer:

“I’m an unpublished writer of fatlovesex erotica/romance novels”, then went on to define fatlovesex.

Defense attorney, visibly uncomfortable: “Ohhh kaaay” with a smile, quickly moving on.

What i keep private is padding. I applaud those of you who pad and go out in public.

Total respect and appreciation for everyone sharing their reality here, however it may differ from my own.

I am sorry you had to experience that! I really don’t like being teased or shamed for being fat by anyone, much less for liking fat people!
It is very important to verify your feedee is aware of the potential health risk- both parties need to give full consent! Not all feeders are prepared to accept that this is a risky fetish.

It’s the biggest reason I haven’t actually experienced most of what I truly want with this fetish. When I tried out being a feeder it was embarrassing trying to figure out how to bring the topic up but once I realized I was actually a feedee things became even more stressful. I want to gain way more weight than where I am at right now but carrying around all that weight isn’t something you can just hide away like a feeder can with their kink. In both cases, it’s hard to take the feedism hat on and off so I think at some point I (and maybe you) need to just embrace the awkwardness of having a taboo aspect to our personality. It doesn’t have to define you though!

So yeah I definitely have complicated feelings.

I really like my bigger fatter softer rounder body.

I grew up slim but nice curves and always knew I was hot and that dudes wanted to bang me... now I’m old and fat and I still know that dudes love to bang me. I don’t know if I’d have the same feelings if I had grown up fat with that stigma.

But sometimes I still experience negative intrusive thoughts and that’s because of my ex who was a narcissist and extremely superficial. I met him when I was really skinny and feeling insecure about my body, I would have preferred to be a bit bigger. We were together 8 years. He was really abusive and awful. Cheated numerous times and definitely made his distaste for fatties known...

So as I started gaining weight I liked it but I also knew he hated it. He wanted the status of a hot skinny girl on his arm not a fatty. And I felt the consequences of that... and that is part of what pushed me into this fetish.

About two years ago I finally left him (yay me!) and I am so happy and I’m thriving and definitely getting fatter!

But now I’m like a size 2XL and for women that starts to drastically reduce your choice in clothes and styles and since this has happened I have had a lot of intrusive thoughts that people I am friends with or date are really going to start being ashamed to be seen with me... so I’m dealing with some shame feelings.

None of the people currently in my life are assholes like that so I know it’s irrational but it’s definitely there.

Because of quarantine I’ve been dating my partner for nine months and haven’t met his family and I’ve definitely started a story in my head that he will be to embarrassed to have me meet them. (He’s incredibly thin and his family is too and I worry will judge me & him for me being so fat)

Otherwise I love being the fat deviant pervert that typically doesn’t give a fuck and really loves knowing I’m fat and I still have the power to make dudes lust after me. Sometimes even when they don’t want to. 😊🤤

Bringing back a great thread -

I identify with FA and really into weight gain, Fredee (more encourager), Feedee and Mutual gaining.

I think the ultimate is mutual gaining in a marriage or relationship. Mine was non-communicative. My wife knows I like her gaining weight (definitely not to the weight I would love to see her get to) we have never ever discussed anything about my discovery of me growing my own gut. It has happened a couple time at first accidentally and then intentionally. She played right into fattening us both up without us ever discussing it. It was probably the ultimate with this kink the way I am have ever felt in my life. She was getting fatter than she had ever allowed herself to get before and seemed fine with it, maybe because I was now the biggest as the couple. Possibly it was because I put on a huge gut at the hand of her cooking or so she thought (when I was stuffing myself intentionally when we weren’t together). She seemed to love the big gutted husband she created and didn’t even mind that we were now a Fat couple.

I believe I felt more shame when I was at my biggest and knowingly chugging heavy cream and stuffing myself when I wasn’t around my wife to later come home for dinner and have her stuff me even more. I guess the reason I felt that which is also the reason it was so damn arousing is that it was kind of secretive from her….but she is the type that doesn’t like to discuss kinks in any way. I got over it because I felt everything was working favorably for both of us during this time….she seemed fine e with her weight and certainly loved the much bigger bellied husband of hers and it was all very fun and really arousing. There were times when I was by myself where I would feel a bit embarrassed if I saw someone I knew that I had t seen in a long long time and here I was with a gut sticking out in front of me looking as if I was 18 months pregnant. But most of the time I was totally aroused by my massive gain and would show off proudly and even engage in conversation at the grocery store or wherever with employees I knew but were not close to that still saw me with at least a 50 lb. gain. I would be buying tons (obscene amounts) of ice cream and sweets to pack the pantry and fridge…..and start a conversation about weight gain….you would be surprised how many people love to engage in these conversations.

I have never felt shame or embarrassment for my wife’s gains and only relished in them. Likewise I have done my entire life with heavier girlfriends or people in general. I have loved fatter women since I was kid and the weight that I love has only increased over time. I think that is probably the main thing I feel ashamed about a bit is my wife thinks that I like her Fat and in her eyes that is 170+ lbs. at 5’ 3”. When she was at 200 lbs. or slightly over she was definitely Fat in most people’s eyes and definitely in hers and probably felt as though I thought she was Fat. If I ever muster up enough courage to tell her I would love to see her at 300 lbs. or even 350 lbs. and would love her just the same but probably lust after her even more……she would say I am weird and disgusting. So, I have never ever said that yet. I long time ago early on when my wife was at her heaviest after multiple pregnancies in a row we were at the mall and she was in an inquisitive mood, she asked me looking at a very pretty woman that was heavier (around 250 lbs.) “does she got into your Fat catagory of liking”? I simply said I think she is pretty and not to Fat…..this is a tricky situation. Then she asked if another lady who must have been 300+ but not very attractive at all “do you tho i she is hot”? I was caught but I had an out because I didn’t think she was hot, but I certainly didn’t mind how Fat she was……so, I said No….she then said “Good, because if you think I would look Hot that Fat….I would think there is something wrong with you”! So, I do t think I am going to bring up that I want her to get Fat for me up to 300-350 lbs. anytime soon. I have definitely told her early on and several times though that she would never ever be Fat that I didn’t find her totally beautiful and love her at that size. I guess this is the only thing I feel ashamed or guilty of being scared to have her tho I I so strange for the upper end what I am attracted to with her gaining or for any woman!

I used to be ashamed of my fettish for fat men and woman and longing to be fat myself.

When I was 13 to 16 I felt like a freak of nature to be into weight gain and being fat when all the media people on TV and pretty much the whole world wanted the opposite to what I wanted.

My mother has always been obsessed with being skinny because of emotional problems from the past and for the last 20 years or so she'd only eat one meal a day at 5pm which meant she'd go the whole day without eating.

My older brother and sister were both overweight as teenagers for a long time but are both slim now so I'm the only fat one in the family, the only one too have a fat tummy and a big Ass and sometimes people make hurtful comments about my weight but I'm used to that teehee

back in 2008 my Father kicked me out his house for being 15 stone when I was 15 years old and said if you don't lose weight your banned from my house.

So after that I lived with my mum until I was 21 and now live with my partner who likes my extra fat xxx

Ashamed? No, I can’t truthfully say I am. I’m not open about it because people don’t understand and I don’t need to get shit from them about it. It’s always the health thing blah blah blah much less them knowing I’m deliberately fat. Though I hint at it... I call myself fatboy, I say things like “I didn’t get to be 245 lbs by being a picky eater”, or “that’s why they make bigger clothes”. I used to be afraid of, and hated gaining weight and being fat. But I’m attracted to fat guys, have been for a long time, and think there are too many good looking fat men in the world for there to be anything wrong with it. I was in Kohl’s yesterday, saw my reflection in a full length mirror and liked what I saw.

Oh yeah absolutely.
But, its mostly the fact that I have a fetish at all than the fetish itself. I hate how I subconciously fondle my own stomach or thighs, or how I look at others´s fat, be friends or strangers. It makes it really awkward but hey, at least it's not to a "my eyes are up here" kind of level.

But what I mostly hate is how quickly my thoughts wander just because I see a person with the tiniest pudge. Feels like I'm a pervert, but I'm not thinking about sex at all.

Yes unfortunately it is!! I hate it every day! I envy fat people. all my life I think it's the most beautiful thing there is.

I think fat women are the most beautiful thing there is😍 food is the most delicious thing there is.. and I love my dream of becoming fat but I never dare.
every time I gain weight and gain weight I am happy (I have to do it secretly) but when people whine it hurts me and then I lose weight again.

but the feederism is the best thing there is. exists and yet sometimes I am ashamed of it