General

This thread has come at a good time. I have traits of ADHD, and I get heart palpitations when I'm consistently stressed out, which comes and goes like recurring phases. Recently, I put on 40lbs to see what getting close to 200lbs would be like, and all the way it was fun. However, I broke from my diet plan because I was getting impatient and trying to get as big a belly as possible for someone who never even referred to me by name (I just stopped talking to her since it seemed she was going to cancel our meetup again). Now I've been having to lose 10lbs to reduce my blood pressure. On top of this, I injured my shoulder , making managing my blood pressure and adapting to my weight that much harder. With all these stressers, my mind jumps to the conclusion that I can't be happy fatter and I can't be happy skinnier. Even worse, having experienced knee pain without even breaking 200, I worry I'll feel like a monster for loving a partner's fatness, especially if she wants to lose weight and worries that I'd love her any less for it (which I would never expect to be true in a healthy relationship but that's still a worry she could have). My relationship to food and feederism has been changed and until my shoulder is healed and I can be active like I used to be I am in this perpetual state of turmoil, trying my best to balance health and feedism in the least advantageous ways possible (diets and a limited variety of physical activity).
I am finding a sweet spot, which my hope is no lower than 185, where I feel like my clothes look the best on me, and I can feel less like my weight is destroying me. Hopefully someday I can experiment again and get even bigger. For now I'm doing my best to keep a good relationship with feedism.

I assure you that some males (as myself) simply find an overweight or fat woman beautiful. We all have different tastes in what we find attractive in the opposite gender. Please accept yourself and your expanding size as being a very attractive person, and an individual

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'm lucky enough to be on a pretty even keel mental health wise most of the time, and I actually think this fetish has a role in that.

I am not really a gainer/feedee, way more into fat on others. But whenever something crap/stressful happens that I can't control, my default reaction is to displace the negative feelings onto things I can control - almost always my weight - and beat myself up until I lose some. To save the day, the fat fetish kicks in after a few weeks/months, before I can ever turn myself into a twig, like a voice in the back of my head reminding me fat is fun.

To top it off, it's empowering to subvert that opposition, taking the shame of feeling fat and twisting it into something sexy, controlling it myself. I wonder if I'd just slide into an eating disorder without the part of my brain that thinks fat is sexy... With things being so up in the air with covid, FF is feeling more like a welcome outlet than ever

Hoping you can all find your peace with it. Mine's definitely a balance between opposing voices rather than anything calm/quiet, but so far, so good!