I know what it’s like to not get any comments, so here we go….
Well written, so far. (Surprisingly many stories still are not well written, in terms of grammar, spelling, continuity.)
Take it as a compliment that normally i don’t read the specific genre you’re doing at all, yet you did it well enough that i read it, even though it’s not my thing.
In chapter 1 check the sentence “…out of his shorts and my draw dropped.” Thinking draw is supposed to be jaw.
Anything else i could type is just personal preference, which varies all over the place. I prefer a slower pacing, but other people will find your existing pacing excellent.
4 years
