General

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
I realise this isn’t exactly a sexy post but I also don’t have m(any) people I can discuss this with irl.

I’m sure we all have times when we can feel this fetish dominating our life and feel a bit powerless towards it. I don’t have other kinks so I’m not sure how comparable it is but it feels a little different to most of them.

Has anyone got tips for how to manage it so it doesn’t encroach into other areas of your life? Or has anyone brought this up with a professional to hear their take on it?
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
Faithinstrangers19:
I realise this isn’t exactly a sexy post but I also don’t have m(any) people I can discuss this with irl.

I’m sure we all have times when we can feel this fetish dominating our life and feel a bit powerless towards it. I don’t have other kinks so I’m not sure how comparable it is but it feels a little different to most of them.

Has anyone got tips for how to manage it so it doesn’t encroach into other areas of your life? Or has anyone brought this up with a professional to hear their take on it?

fudge:
Definitely not the sexiest post, haha. Yeah, I think that’s a core feature of this particular fetish - all of the paradoxes. You want to keep it under control, but at the same time, are intrigued by the idea of losing control. You want to hide it, but also yearn to have other people know - perhaps under temporary controlled conditions (which probably isn’t possible in real life - once someone else knows, they couldn’t just forget and move on). I’ve not talked with a therapist about this, though I have seriously thought about it, just to see how they would classify it. An eating disorder? A niche sexual fetish? Who knows?


Still considering how I’ve talked to about 150 feedees over the years, and nearly all of them expressed how they go through phases of being disgusted with themselves (or they just disappear) topics like this don’t come up enough.
Most of us have no one to relate to or speak about this with because of fear of extreme judgment even though we obviously never asked for it - and would trade it for normal sexuality if we could.
I mean I can’t imagine being as turned on by regular size women and sex... that would make life so much more enjoyable.

The other issue is the morality of it. If you introduce the fetish to your partner then Even if they’re willing to gain a bit you’ll feel morally wrong by doing so, but even if they have a feedism kink I still feel like I’m encouraging extremely unhealthy lifestyle on someone I love and care about.

Plus I’m personally really only into bellies and that’s just not practical and way too limiting. Why on earth would a smart attractive girl have a belly? It’s rare and temporary and then what if she loses it there goes my attraction?

As you can see it’s been quite a struggle for me to accept let alone enjoy so I think I’ll have to speak to someone about it.
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
Ditzy   United States
Joined 11 years
I think a lot of people just have guilt issues.
It can be guilt over just about anything I suppose.
It sounds like you are embarrassed about liking overweight women.
Its just what you like no need to be embarrassed or feel guilty about it.
I wouldn't even call it a kink its just what you prefer.
I have always dated big guys because I am attracted to them. I don't feel embarrassed to be with them in public.
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
LondonFA   United States
Joined 9 years
Definitely, at the behest of an ex who struggled the other way around. I convinced her that my comments about her body weren't empty platitudes and that it's an actual kink/preference to see her eat and grow and be happy in her gourmandism. She liked being big but went through stages (especially when pressured by her doctor father) of being told her weight was disgusting and reacting terribly to her own large appetite.

We saw different counsellor to talk about the issues of revulsion and shame that come with all kinds of body image issues.

The main takeaway I got is that anything that is deemed as self destructive by society can cause feelings of shame. The issue arises in what is really destructive.

My parents were both sports people and I'm the 80s owned a chain of gyms. Their "models" and trainers were all seen as the epitome of health but ultimately due to low fat and over exercise, they are being more destructive to themselves than most gainers.

Having a person as a mirror and being able to explore your mixed feelings about anything you do, from this sexual preference to morally questionable actions at work can really help and also might allow you to draw more clear lines as to what your actual preferences are and how to work with them in a settled way in your life.
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
AddrianTandava   Mexico
Joined 4 years
I think we also have to remember "normal" in our society is actually quite fat phobic. In many other cultures getting fat in a relationship would be a good sign and also probably enjoyed by people with what's considered normal sexuality.
Partners would feed each other....

Now we're taught to hate our fat and be as small as possible. Frankly I'm not sure THATS natural.

Sometimes I see a post on FB of someone upset by gaining weight and I might open up and tell them I actually love watching people get bigger and find it erotic. I've had a number of women thank me for being willing to share that and they would sometimes continue to gain. It's like people need permission to enjoy getting bigger. But once they have permission I would say maybe half of the people I've had exchanges with do seem to enjoy it.
What mammal on earth does not want to get fat???
I'm pretty sure, within reason, this urge is physiologically normal.
Probably the extreme version with stuffing sessions and wanting to be immobile is a niche fetish but getting turned on by your lover gaining 30 or 50 is completely common(though many to ashamed to say so)
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
BillyJohn23   United States
Joined 5 years
I have been trying to find somebody to talk to about this. This may come across a strange, but I seem to have two modes that change. For example, I find Feederism erotic online or for viewing purposes. I do not keep the same mindset in person. I guess it varies in person, but I prefer more athletic and toned body types when I’m dating or talking to someone. If anybody else has a similar experience, please let me know.
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
Biggirlsok   United States
Joined 9 years
I think I might have but it's been so long since I actually saw a therapist
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
RollingRock   United States
Joined 18 years
Faithinstrangers19:
I realise this isn’t exactly a sexy post but I also don’t have m(any) people I can discuss this with irl.

I’m sure we all have times when we can feel this fetish dominating our life and feel a bit powerless towards it. I don’t have other kinks so I’m not sure how comparable it is but it feels a little different to most of them.

Has anyone got tips for how to manage it so it doesn’t encroach into other areas of your life? Or has anyone brought this up with a professional to hear their take on it?

fudge:
Definitely not the sexiest post, haha. Yeah, I think that’s a core feature of this particular fetish - all of the paradoxes. You want to keep it under control, but at the same time, are intrigued by the idea of losing control. You want to hide it, but also yearn to have other people know - perhaps under temporary controlled conditions (which probably isn’t possible in real life - once someone else knows, they couldn’t just forget and move on). I’ve not talked with a therapist about this, though I have seriously thought about it, just to see how they would classify it. An eating disorder? A niche sexual fetish? Who knows?

Faithinstrangers19:
Still considering how I’ve talked to about 150 feedees over the years, and nearly all of them expressed how they go through phases of being disgusted with themselves (or they just disappear) topics like this don’t come up enough.
Most of us have no one to relate to or speak about this with because of fear of extreme judgment even though we obviously never asked for it - and would trade it for normal sexuality if we could.
I mean I can’t imagine being as turned on by regular size women and sex... that would make life so much more enjoyable.

The other issue is the morality of it. If you introduce the fetish to your partner then Even if they’re willing to gain a bit you’ll feel morally wrong by doing so, but even if they have a feedism kink I still feel like I’m encouraging extremely unhealthy lifestyle on someone I love and care about.

Plus I’m personally really only into bellies and that’s just not practical and way too limiting. Why on earth would a smart attractive girl have a belly? It’s rare and temporary and then what if she loses it there goes my attraction?

As you can see it’s been quite a struggle for me to accept let alone enjoy so I think I’ll have to speak to someone about it.

NY37:
This smart, attractive woman has a belly. Please deal with your own fat phobia before pursuing a relationship with a fat person. Counseling would be a good start.


Highly appreciated.
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
BreadZeppelin:
Many times.

I never get any answer besides "You like bigger bodies. So what?"


I wish it were that simple, there are plenty of bigger women out there who I would be approaching if that were the case.

Feedism, stuffing, weight gain and emphasis on bellies is completely different.

It’s like looking for a real life unicorn

It’s also not that I just like that stuff it’s that I virtually need it to feel fully aroused so it’s almost more like an orientation than a fetish

If my therapist said something like that I’d just nod and regret bringing it up because they clearly don’t have anything constructive to offer
4 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

Avatar
WorkingOnIt   Canada
Joined 4 years
I think their therapist responding that way is less about not being constructive, and more about trying to normalize the person's experience by acting as if it's not a big deal.

I have discussed this fetish at length with my therapist as well as my gaining. As others have said, this won't be the worst thing they've heard, and really it's not as weird or out there as a lot of us tell ourselves it is in our heads. A good therapist is going to care how this fetish affects your life and what it means for you, not that "it's weird you want to stuff someone's face full of food."

I think if someone feels as though the fetish is taking over their life or that they cannot find any satisfaction with out the fetish, it's probably not really the fetish that's the issue and there's probably more at play. In those cases, instead of hating on the fetish, I think it's helpful to consider the fetish as a godsend for giving us an outlet for sexual pleasure when mental health may be getting in the way of getting pleasure from intimacy.
4 years
12