General

I am straight and am attracted to women. I will often fantasize about the hot women I see day to day so I know am I not asexual. I want to try sex and to masturbate but, I have no been able to get pleasure from masturbating. I dont know what to do. I am afriad that when I eventually have sex that I wont know what to do or that I wont feel pleasure.

Its probably worth mentioning that I am single and a virgin. I feel I may ejaculate just fine if it is a womans hand doing the work but alas I havent been able to test this theory yet.

So Im wondering if this is normal? Or should all men be whacking one out on a regular basis like I read on the internet?

It's not weird.
And you aren't alone in that I am in the same situation.
And I have to say that a woman's hand did nothing for me. Not even inside her.

And you may feel like that too. And it's just fine. Your body might just not be molded towards pleasure via sex. It's the same as someone being allergic to peanuts.

Also, asexuality has nothing to do with whenever you find someone sexually attractive. It's just when you don't feel the necessity to have sex with another.

So no. You shouldn't wack like the internet says we do. And you shouldn't bang just because everyone else does it. Sex is not the fireworks that the media sells. It might just be a very boring thing.

You are only 20 years old you have all the time in the world to figure it all out.
There is no reason to say if you are straight or gay that doesn't really have anything to do with anything.

I wanna have sex though, I have a desire to have it. its just that I dont know how to find pleasure with that. This is also true as I am a virgin which isnt helping.

Tell your doctor what you’re experiencing and ask if they’ll refer you to a urologist. It’s unlikely, but your problem could be due to an underlying condition.

If it isn’t a health problem, sex therapy could help though I’m not certain how feasible it would be for you.

Agree with everyone who’s written about Ignoring The Internet.

Actually, ignore what everyone else is or is not doing.



The following is a summation mashup of personal experience and a good bit of reading over the years:

Sex doesn’t have to involve genitals—at all, ever. Consider opening up the definition of sex in your mind to something much broader: more synonymous with sensuality (is one option).

Sex, sensuality, and related more physical love involve the mind as much or more than any body parts with nerve endings. To paraphrase George Clinton, free your mind to pleasure and sex will (eventually) follow.

Relax into the pleasure… no rush, no goals. Your pleasure, not what anybody else says/writes/etc. defines pleasure.

Seriously consider letting go of any/all virginity concerns. I was a virgin until 22, and it might have been years longer had i not been ready for love at that point, and in a university setting with lots of same-age people with shared interests around. Did not bother me even a teeny bit. Indeed, i wasn’t even thinking about it, in part because other aspects of life were far more compelling at the time.

The young woman very close in age to me who became my first-ever girlfriend (and very quickly True Love, as in living together) had prior sexual experience, and no issues with my not having any. She gently led me through my first intercourse, and everything went quite acceptably well. Pleasant; no fireworks (and still haven’t experienced fireworks with anyone, decades later).

Here’s something else to ignore: anything in this post or elsewhere in this thread that feels very intrinsically “wrong” to you.

Best Wishes on your unique journey!

This is totally normal. I dated someone who never did it till older than you. If you want to try something different, get a bottle of lubes. It was a game changer for them. We were each others first for stuff. And it can take a while to finish if you're new to it or have sensitivity issues.

Dude you're young. Plenty of time.

If you don't want to masturbate then don't. Many people who have regular sex do anyway btw

Also if you think a woman's hand is going to be a thrill....you're in for a hell of a treat