General

I totally agree with this. Everyone has a preference, including myself. And just for the record, I myself dont chalk everything up to race. It's the things like being called "big momma" and the like that get to me.

Also sorry to hear about the tramp. Good riddance.

I understand about calling you "Big Momma". Someone needs to know you well enough to know if you are ok with it before using names like that.

It is always best to start out with someone you don't know with politeness and good behavior. There is too much rudeness in general these days.

As has been pointed out by pretty much all the comments on here, there's definitely been a huge change in how people connect (or fail to) with each other. I kinda wish I was over 18 in those supposed early years when people could make connections, but my impression of social networking is that of people being less accepting of others' differences. With echo chambers, one-click shopping, and the draw of individualistic "hustles" like YouTube, Patreon, OF, scamming, etc., all being more-widely facilitated by social networking and other websites, it's probably easier than ever for people to care less about connecting to others and focusing on getting/pursuing what they like. This speculative theory of mine suggests it's more unfortunate than unsurprising that Feedism communities like this one are affected by increased individualism, reduced empathy, and implicit bias. And yes, by "implicit bias" I mean racism, but I also am describing the other biases that lead people to give disparate attention towards others, like the aforementioned blonde, tall, or "male/masculine feeder--female/feminine feedee" biases.

(Without making a virus allegory) I believe an online community is not immune to the social dynamics or cultural changes that users experience or are affected by, so it's possible the struggles of fetish communities have external sources in addition to internal sources.

What community??

It's just a bunch of people looking to find like-minded people.

The days of "Community" are long gone. People show up, curious then leave. Remake and delete accounts, come here to get attention or money. Read a story and look at pics.

None of that stuff requires community. Just a Website.

Once they get what they need, they go back to their normal lives.

There is no community. Just a fetish that links us all, loosely.

The chat is 99% Snipers (people who immediately PM every woman who walks in) and Moneyseekers
(you're not a real feeder if you refuse to pay strangers, after all, right?)


Most people who have a phone can't use it correctly anyway and it turns the chat into a dead zone even more.

The forums are the same old recycled topics over and over that devolve into the same old tired arguments. Or just people doing personal ads, complaints.

Communities have goals, pride, and unity.

Even the "Plus size' movement usually thinks feederism is just abuse anyway. So we really can't even claim to be a legit part of that, either.

So yeah, the "Community' days are long gone if they ever really existed in the first place.

There are no leaders, there is no goal, it's just every person out for themselves, expressing fantasies when no one's looking hoping someone on here has the same thing.

Usually, those people have nothing else in common.


People leave the website all the time, they return all the time, but there is no community to leave.

John Smith:
The Plus Size movement IS part of the culture.

X_Larsson:
Size preference is not "disruptive", "leftist", "rainbow", "feminist" or any other term to push guilt and distribution of wealth, which are new phenomena since the 60s or so.

Venus of Willendorf predates that whole "culture" by millenia!

John Smith:
The Plus Size movement is literally born out of the second wave feminist movement and Civil Right Movement who both promoted social egality for all people, regardless of their gender or color skin. And when fertility figurines were made, obesity and fuller feminine bodies weren't subjected to such vilipending by modern Eurocentric standaeda of beauty: standards who, ironically, Otherized theee same bigger bodies in such a way we've spent a whole century associating it to "exotic women" and by "exotic women" I mean women of color (especially black women) and "sideshow freaks" .

You need to check out your facts and not pulling out empty historical relativism without following up the vast, 5,000-years-or-so gap between how fuller-figured women were treated in prehistory and Antiquity versus the modern times.

X_Larsson:
So stop trying making feederism about "side acceptance", it is not! Some (limited!) common ground is what we share, that's it.[/quote]

It used to be about size acceptance. It used to be about coming together and either fighting for that acceptance or enjoying each others company.

Now its "here's a link to my content" or men just looking to get off and get back to their normal lives as previously mentioned. There is no community, its all about "gonna get mine"

Worst part is there's nothing that can be done about it.

I've had no less than 100 people agree to meet up and flake out.

I've been here forever, I'll tell you what the problems are, not just here but other places too.

1) they let people set up a profile without filling it out. If you force people to complete a profile 50% of the scammers would stop.

2) there is no real punishment to those that get in trouble. You get a timeout.

3) maybe not here but as soon as you let one person start begging for money or advertising their "content", it opens the door for everyone to say, hey I want that too.

4) not this site, but another app, has no real advertising for it. It consolidated its app into one big one stop thing. It doesn't highlight this culture enough and it sends mixed messages thinking you might have to be into other fetishes too.

5) I know we are in a pandemic. But we need to get back into potentially doing meet ups, picnics, socials, or even sponsored eating contests. You'll never get rid of the beggars, but if you start building real relationships others will see. Itll stop the culture of login, masterbate and leave. Friendships and real relationships could form. I'd volunteer to moderate or have other verified people keep it safe. Post pandemic I like this idea.

6) start a community pool of cash of those wishing to meet but are too far apart. I'd donate a couple bucks every now and then if it helps people meet and grow so be it. I'd much rather give my money towards that than a video of someone eating in their moms basement.

7) improve communication tools. The chat here is atrocious. If I check a text I basically have to re-enter everything. For verified members who agree, why not have a video chat? The other competitor has no chat, and its messaging system on its app is clunky and awkward.

8) keep advertisements for models and content off the main tabs and feeds, and give them their own. You dont think the same guy who buys content isnt gonna offer money for it and click one tab over. Allow the models and content creators to "buy in" and let them post some freebies to gain new customers. Keeping them in plain site blurs the mission of this place. Plus, every girl/woman hears about someone getting free stuff or how much they make, and suddenly they want one too. On another site, I saw 10 straight posts for content. No wonder people dont hang around. They think it's a porn site or feel like they have to do that. Suddenly people who are here put of curiosity leave due to the bold shit they see.

Keep them separate, but give them a platform.

9) round the clock moderators. Find one competent person or persons to act as a moderator for these sites. Many sites have a lag. It creates problems, as lack of response time allows people to in real time post issues and potential harassment. This makes people leave.

10) more informative content, maybe even guerrilla marketing. The more visibility the more people join. More potential premium members. Put an ad on other dating sites. Introduce this as a lifestyle people can opt into and try. Sell the dream.

11) the search feature here is hands down the worst. Its inaccurate and operates like a fucking Microsoft Access chart from an early edition of Windows. People can't find what they are looking for if they cant search For it.

12) lastly, start a rewards program. If you refer a member you'll be entered in to win free food, gifts, or a free premium

This is one of the most accurate assessments on this subject. People come and go all the time and the truth is that most of this is a substitute for not being able to actualize these likes offline. There is no community only a bunch of folks who like and get off to fat. We have to mission statement so how can we be a community ? I came here to find newer and better ways to help me with my fat body building philosophy. I wanted to indoctrinate my mind in seeing if I could become that person obsessed with fat only to find all different types of people and notches on this fat fetish spectrum. I get all different types hitting me up because this is the only place they can talk to people who actually live their life as someone who taken the fat plunge. We expect way too much from these sites and we project our frustrations for the site not meeting up to the unrealistic expectations we had for it in the first place. You will meet all kinds on here from the socially inept to the people trying to scam for cash in the chat; it is what it is and just accept that.