karenjenk:
Some of mine tie in together.
For me its more about multiple fantasies than one.
-
I daydream about gaining so much that my family and friends are appalled. I don’t know a weight but definitely close to 300.
And then just eating to spite them even though I know I need to lose.
Then meeting someone who would encourage me to lose as close to I was when I was thin.
Thinking of terms of starting at 120’s and ending up well over 300.
Five feet tall and 300+ lbs sounds close to immobility. I don’t really think I want immobility. Although there are temporary ways to experience it.
-
So losing from 300+ to 135 or so and all the excess flapy skin. Being disgusted with how I feel and look and how it looks like im melting. Then thinking I want to gain more but then the person I’m with wont allow me to gain. Instead they keep making me lose. This. Making my skin even more saggy. Still having a gut because of the excess skin.
Then the yo yo effect of gaining and losing until I have gained it all back and more.
-
Along with this fantasy they would take me out in public like to the mall or park.
I would of course need a scooter or wheel chair to get very far.
Then being left standing in the middle of a big area and having trouble shuffling to a place to sit.
No bra…. And a shirt that’s so small it barely covers my upper tummy roll.
-
With each step… waddle… shuffle of my feet my whole body would wobble and move like jello… especially my hips and breasts.
Skin tight leggings under my gut and my shirt too short.
I expect people would stare and whisper and take pics and videos.
-
The worst part would be people I went to school with seeing me and then approaching me eventually. And giving backward compliments.
And hearing what they say as they walk away.
Hearing my phone ding with a notification from facebook and it being a video that someone uploaded and shared… and all the cutdowns.
-
After almost 30 minutes to get to a bench that’s 60 feet away wanting to sit down and realizing that I have to make it up 3 steps.
Struggling with each step. Fighting back tears
All while the person who ruined my life is sitting not far away watching me.
-
Finally making it to the bench and realizing that it’s so narrow that my hips have to squish into the arm rests and bulging over some.
Trying to get up my courage to walk to my scooter that I know is just out of reach.
Then,
A delivery guy shows up with food. He hands me a pizza in a box and I look at the person who brought me here and they nod and mouth, “eat it all and you can go”
I quickly swallow it all and now a bag of burgers are delivered… and again im told I can go when ive eaten it all. All that gets handed to me.
-
Eventually eating some much I cant move.
My gut so full and tight that is pushing my breasts up and to my sides.
Upper cleavage almost touching my chin.
All the while people staring and laughing or in horror.
Hiding their childrens eyes as they walk quickly away.
As people dissipate I am left almost alone and he approach as tells me I did good and its almost time to go home. He then goes behind me and lifts my shirt till its under my massive boobs showing my entire belly.
He brings the scooter closer and I shuffle to it and sit down out of breath as I drive to our van.
Crying.
Knowing he has total control over me because I have no work skills and no energy.
Some of mine tie in together.
For me its more about multiple fantasies than one.
-
I daydream about gaining so much that my family and friends are appalled. I don’t know a weight but definitely close to 300.
And then just eating to spite them even though I know I need to lose.
Then meeting someone who would encourage me to lose as close to I was when I was thin.
Thinking of terms of starting at 120’s and ending up well over 300.
Five feet tall and 300+ lbs sounds close to immobility. I don’t really think I want immobility. Although there are temporary ways to experience it.
-
So losing from 300+ to 135 or so and all the excess flapy skin. Being disgusted with how I feel and look and how it looks like im melting. Then thinking I want to gain more but then the person I’m with wont allow me to gain. Instead they keep making me lose. This. Making my skin even more saggy. Still having a gut because of the excess skin.
Then the yo yo effect of gaining and losing until I have gained it all back and more.
-
Along with this fantasy they would take me out in public like to the mall or park.
I would of course need a scooter or wheel chair to get very far.
Then being left standing in the middle of a big area and having trouble shuffling to a place to sit.
No bra…. And a shirt that’s so small it barely covers my upper tummy roll.
-
With each step… waddle… shuffle of my feet my whole body would wobble and move like jello… especially my hips and breasts.
Skin tight leggings under my gut and my shirt too short.
I expect people would stare and whisper and take pics and videos.
-
The worst part would be people I went to school with seeing me and then approaching me eventually. And giving backward compliments.
And hearing what they say as they walk away.
Hearing my phone ding with a notification from facebook and it being a video that someone uploaded and shared… and all the cutdowns.
-
After almost 30 minutes to get to a bench that’s 60 feet away wanting to sit down and realizing that I have to make it up 3 steps.
Struggling with each step. Fighting back tears
All while the person who ruined my life is sitting not far away watching me.
-
Finally making it to the bench and realizing that it’s so narrow that my hips have to squish into the arm rests and bulging over some.
Trying to get up my courage to walk to my scooter that I know is just out of reach.
Then,
A delivery guy shows up with food. He hands me a pizza in a box and I look at the person who brought me here and they nod and mouth, “eat it all and you can go”
I quickly swallow it all and now a bag of burgers are delivered… and again im told I can go when ive eaten it all. All that gets handed to me.
-
Eventually eating some much I cant move.
My gut so full and tight that is pushing my breasts up and to my sides.
Upper cleavage almost touching my chin.
All the while people staring and laughing or in horror.
Hiding their childrens eyes as they walk quickly away.
As people dissipate I am left almost alone and he approach as tells me I did good and its almost time to go home. He then goes behind me and lifts my shirt till its under my massive boobs showing my entire belly.
He brings the scooter closer and I shuffle to it and sit down out of breath as I drive to our van.
Crying.
Knowing he has total control over me because I have no work skills and no energy.
Sounds like a good life youve planned out for yourself
4 years
