Gaining

This post is a bummer, so if you want to avoid that you ought to turn back now, but I’m really hoping someone has experience and/or advice that can help with this.

Lately, I’ve been dealing with some serious depression + a bad relapse of my eating disorder, and have lost 15 pounds in just a couple months as a result. It’s been a serious struggle for me to eat enough to stay out of the hospital, much less enough to maintain my weight or gain more, and even if I spend all day trying to force myself to eat I’ve rarely been able to get down more than 1000 calories in a day. Worth noting is that my eating disorder, selective eating disorder, hasn’t got anything to do with body image and instead revolves around perceived problems with the food- its taste, texture, obsessive contamination fears about it, etc. To put it simply, the problem is that I haven’t got any energy to prepare food, and when someone else makes it for me I can still barely eat any of it because no matter what it is, it tastes like garbage and makes me feel unbearably nauseous to even look at it.

What do you do in a situation like this? I’ve spoken to multiple doctors but all they’ve done is prescribe appetite stimulants that don’t help enough and say that if it stays out of control like this for too long I’ll eventually need to be hospitalized.

I feel like if anyone would know how to force yourself to eat when it feels impossible, this would be the place to find them. I miss gaining weight and would prefer to return to doing so (both because I enjoy getting fatter and because right now it would help improve my deteriorating physical health), but at this point I’d settle for just stopping the weight loss before it reaches a point where I need emergency medical care.

If anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it.

Well my friend theirs no easy answer to this but I went throw something similar in 2014 when I had severe Depression and lost 14 pounds in 2 weeks

I dealt with my Depression with a lot of alcohol, I had to drink so that I had an apatite so that I could actually eat.

However I wasn't eating anywhere near as much as I was when my Mental health was good.

When I first met my Husband in 2017 I was 175 pounds and saw myself as a skinny joke, I hated how thin and ugly I'd become. I had no dress sense or style and my hair looked like a mop, I called it "the Depression look"

Now and then I look at some old photo's of how I used to look and feel so thankful to be in a loving relationship and have the support that I do.

4 years on and I've gained 70 pounds since then and I have a big apatite and love eating.

The moment I wake up I'm excited about the delicious things that I'm going to eat during this new day.

This time 5 years ago I was so lonely and thin and couldn't imagine my life ever being any better than that.

Never in a million years did I think I'd ever meet someone as nice and as open minded as my husband, I never once thought I'd ever be this fat and happy.

It's sad to see you struggling like this and just want to finish by saying that it's more than possible to get better and be fat and happy and love food again xxxx

this is pretty much why I smoke weed lol

Has smoking weed helped you gain weight?

It definitely helps me build up an appetite, and fall asleep better, as well as putting a cap on my anxiety. I'm not really very chubby yet or anything but I did gain a good 20 pounds last year after years of hardly being able to eat.