Fat experiences

You don't need to tell them right now. It would only objectify them. I've been that person in relationships, the one someone pursued and only once things got hot and heavy did they reveal that "oh yeah, by the way, they preferred fat women." and it made me feel like crap.

If you're going out with this person because of their body, you need to let them go so they can find someone who values them for who they are with or without it. If you admire them as a whole person, this doesn't yet need to be introduced, or if you are going to, NEVER in a way that centers them as the object of the kink. You're just making it about you and your desires at that point.

Make it a conversation and let them answer first. Tell them how you find that specific person attractive, ask them what they like, what if any kinks they have if they are ready to disclose it, etc. It's just like literally any other relationship. Hanging it up on being FA diminishes it and limits you both.

I agree with Lora.
If you are attracted to them only because of their body how do you think that will make them feel?
No need to say anything at the moment.
If you are going out off and on then I think they would know you are attracted to them in some way.
Relationships can be tricky so no sense it making it harder just let it grow naturally.
At this point saying you are an FA makes it all about you and your kink, they may not understand and be put off by it.

either the OP of the thread deleted their account or blocked me lol I can't tell! But yes - they suggested they wanted to explore the real relationship part further so that should be the priority.

I tend to be in the “depends on the circumstances” camp. It’s best to be as loving and classy as possible with your mate regardless of the person’s size. If the love is there, then the conversation can open up about what truly turns you on. Deep down, everyone wants to be desired for who they are.

Overall, it’s a good thing sites like this exist to remind ourselves it’s okay to be turned on by extra pounds if that’s what floats your boat. It sure floats mine 😊 My wife and I see it as a loving gesture to hold and caress each others’ bellies and (in her case) boobs. It’s a relaxing activity in our case!

I saw that he vanished so not sure why.
Some people these days get so offended when someone gives a truthful answer.

I think it's less that they are offended and more that they're embarrassed and ashamed. I think the OP genuinely wanted to connect with the person they were asking about, but didn't understand that the question came off.

Maybe you opened their eyes a little.

Really hate these kinds of takes. The assumption that being with a fat women because you like fat women means that you are only with them because they are fat is FUCKING BULLSHIT

Then maybe stop focusing so damn hard on making sure *your* kinks are validated and approved first, believe in them for your own good, and stop putting that burden on other people? That was the point of the discussion. If people matter first, then hand-wringing over how they fit into your kinks shows that there's some level of objectification going on. Focus on the person, build the trust, and the rest will follow.

If the ONLY relationships yuo can build are based on your fetish, that's not a relationsihp. No one has ever once indicated attraction isn't important but attraction and fetish *are not the same thing* and using them interchangeably is dehumanizing. You must always, ALWAYS acknowledge the person first and just because you think you love someone does not mean they are required to participate in or validate your fetish. Additionally no one here at all has said anywhere that there is any disgust. Fat acceptance IS NOT equated with fat fetishism and conflating the two is exactly why you're so furious with a woman for pointing that out. Fat people have a right to not have their fatness fetishized if they don't want it. Not wanting to be fetishized is not in any way fatphobic. If you are seeing someone that doesn't want it, that is 100% your problem.

You wanna talk about self-hate? How about literally not seeing people for who they are without how hard they make your wang.